Kamijou Off-spring -- The New Railgun
by BiGDeal
Summary: Taking place twenty years after A Certain Arranged Marriage, Kamijou Touma's oldest child, Misuzu. encounters a certain martial artist from Nerima. A new level of chaos arrives in Academy City AND Nerima as Misuzu finds just what her power is while Ranma comes up with a final solution to his fiancé problems. Ranked M to be safe rather than gomennesai...
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: I had worked out the backs of how to connect Harry Potter's Army (Dumbledoe's Army or whatever they're called) and the Nerima Wrecking Crew. Somewhere in the plot line, I happened to watch one of the fantasy anime series are realized that I had my trigger point for majou shoji - a temple guardian/minor god that I wound up calling Kitsune-kami-sama-kun - a young fox god with a nasty sense of humour and the ability to tease you to distraction.

Of course, the authors of the orignal novels and anime series retain their rights and privilegesover their materials. This is a work of my own based upon their original works, but ignoring the canon where needed.

Yes, my typing sucks and I really should use spell-check more often. I also tend to get Japanese naming conventions wrong (notably when to use first and surnames), plus use the wrong character name when there are multiple using similar or close names. Hey, when you're working from memory in a flow-of-consciousness, this sort of thing happens.

Of course, if you've read my other stories, you'll have encountered my ironic and sometimes really nasty sense of humour. Sad to say, I inherited that from my father and never did ask him where he got his from.

Anyway, read on and enjoy. Those of you who are reading the other stories, don't worry - I'll circle back shortly and add new chapters to all three stories over the next week or so.

NWC-HP...NWC-HP...NWC-HP...NWC-HP...NWC-HP...NWC-HP...NWC-HP...NWC-HP...

Kamijou Misuzu focused on sweeping the leaves from the path, letting her mind run in an idling mode while she listened to the birds chirping and the breeze wafting through the trees. A great way of relaxing after a shift at the hospital that would go into the records as a wild-and-crazy night.

The sound of someone working on a kata slipped into her consciousness, with the sound of cloth softly snapping in tandem with the shifting gravel and sharp breaths and exhalations. Not that it was loud, but the speed of the sequences and the force being applied to each strike and kick was what made it stand out against the backgroundnoices of the temple complex and the city at the foot of the hill.

Her concentration broken, she straightened and looked around, seeking the martial arts sounds' source. Walking to the grove of trees beside the torii, she stepped through and came upon the clearing at the center of the grove. Stopping just outside of the clearing, she watched the young man working the kata, one that she did not know.

He worked through the kata with a fierceness and concentration that made her imagine him being attacked by three invisible opponents. Each strike and kick were delivered with the full force needed for combat, with not holding back as would most other martial artists doing a solo kata. Looking around, she noticed Abbot Happosai sitting at the base of a cherry tree, smoking his pipe and observing the kata being performed. He looked over at her and twitched his head in a come-here getsture. She walked slowly over to the abbott along the edge of the trees while watching the kata being performed, if anything, even more crisply than before.

Squatting down beside the abbot, she settled down against the tree and observed the kata end, the young man freezing in the final position then straightening to the starting positon of another kata, and powered through that one, one that involved aerial moves.

"Enough!" spoke the abbot, knocking out his pipe and grinding the ashes into the humus and stirring them. MIsuzu looked at the young martial artist, who was breathing heavily and bowing to the abbot and her.

"You've come a long, long way from the last time that I saw you demonstrating, what, twelve years ago? Your father was about to take you on a trianing trip."

"Yes, sensei. It lasted ten years, and we're now staying with the Tendos in Nerima." He looked down, embarassed for some reason; then looked up. "And that's when the craziness started."

"Thank you, Saotome. Ah, Kamijou-chan, it's fortunate that you were around just now. It saves me the problem of asking this question later. Do you know someone who is a good counsellor? I know that this is a big imposition, asking about work when you're off. I know a few but this is your field and it would save Saotome a lot of time that he deasn't have."

Abbot Happosai looked at the young man, who hung his head in embarassment. He looked up, his expression of determiniation, and then bowed deeply. "I apologize for sensei's impostion on you. You see, the craziness that I mentined is undoubtably following me and I'd rather not have it disturb the peace of this shrine. Or worse, cause it damage. All I need is a starting point and I can take it from there."

Misuzu sighed. "Ok, sensei. You obviously know this young man and trust his motives. I can make a few calls while he cools off and cleans himself up. Can you have him come by the house in about fifteen minutes?"

The abbot smiled and bowed. "I will make sure that he does. After all, we haven't realy talked in a long, long time and I want to har about his master, Happosai, my brother. Is he still the pervert that he was?"

"Probably worse, sensei. My father and Mister Tendo had him sealed away for almost ten years but he got out just after we returned from China. Can we go so that Miss Kamijou won't have to wait for us?"

With this, the abbot levered himself off of the ground and showed Saotome towards the monks' quarters and the other guest house.

Misuzu scratched her head and muttered, "I have a bad feeling about this..."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes:

BTW, I'm a published author ( books/view/265865).

The authors of the orignal novels and anime series retain their rights and privileges over their materials. This is a work of my own based upon their original works, but ignoring the canon where needed or when it stands in the way of a good embarrasing situation. I'm a wicked step-father (yes, really! My picture is in the pictionary with a double mental health warning: 1) Out to get every child in the world; and 2) Everybody is somebody's child.)

Also, go back and read my AN from the first chapter when you hit my systemic errors (spelling, Japanese names, muddling characters with similar names, that sort of thing.).

Thanks to everyone who has "favorite'd" my other stores "A Certain Arranged Marriage" and "Harry Potter and The Ghost Re-Animated".

-000000-

Misuzu sighed. "Ok, sensei. You obviously know this young man and trust his motives. I can make a few calls while he cools off and cleans himself up. Can you have him come by the house in about fifteen minutes?"

The abbot smiled and bowed. "I will make sure that he does. After all, we haven't really talked in a long, long time and I want to hear about his master, Happosai, my brother. Is he still the pervert that he was?"

"Probably worse, sensei. My father and Mister Tendo had him sealed away for almost ten years but he got out just after we returned from China. Can we go so that Miss Kamijou won't have to wait for us?"

With this, the abbot levered himself off of the ground and showed Saotome towards the monks' quarters and the other guest house.

Misuzu scratched her head and muttered, "I have a bad feeling about this..."

She turned and retraced her steps back to the guest house, wondering just what trouble she was going to get involved with, thanks to the young martial artist.

Twenty minutes later, she was just finishing preparing a tray of tea ingredients as well as snacks when a gentle knock came from the house entrance. Setting everything on the counter, she walked out and through the house to open the doorway and to welcome her guests.

Opening the door, she bowed deeply from the waist. "Welcome, Abbot and Saotome Ranma. Please come this way."

The abbot chuckled. "Being formal, aren't we? I was expecting you to be dashing around and leaving us to fend for ourselves. Which mother's influence?"

Misuzu smirked and sighed. "If you're thinking of Mama Misaki, you'd be wrong. Strangely enough, Mama Koruko did the pre-emptive strike and said that I needed to know how to behave like a proper lady when it was needed. I figured that this was an occasion where it was called for. Please, sit down and I'll get everything." Opening the doorway into the dining room, she went through the far doorway into the kitchen and returned with the tea and snacks as the two males were seated.

Keeping to the formal start of the visit, dignified social pleasantries flowed as Misuzu poured the tea and distributed the snacks to her guests.

As things wound down, she placed her teapot aside and leaned forward. "OK, enough making nice. I've made some calls and Professor Doctor Tsukuyomi is available. She said that I should find out the details of what is going on and prepare a work-up for her to review."

Seeing the blank expression on Saotomes face, she sighed. "I'm just finishing my studies to become a psychologist and am now doing my residency. I had taken the summer off to help my family but Tsukuyomo said that this would be good experience and has authorized me to work under her supervision. This means that the normal doctor-patient confidentiality will be in place and she feels that having someone close to your own age would make you feel more comfortable that dealing with her."

Saotime thought and then looked at her. "OK, I'm not sure how much you'll believe of what I'm about to tell you, but I swear on my honour as a martial artist that I am not exaggerating or telling you a lie."

Misuzu looked at the abbot, who nodded back. "Yes, I know Saotome Ranma a bit and know his father quite well. If Ranma's speaking on his honour, it means just that. Goes beyond a sworn oath to the heart of his life. Breaking a vow like that is next to impossible. The loss of face would probably have him commiting sepuke at the first opportunity.

Saotome's expression hardened and he stared at the abbot, then sighed. "Sorry, my mother's got a written contract with my name on that calls for me to perform sepuke if I do not meet the terms of it. I'm a bit sensitive when the word gets bandied about. My apologies."

"Actually, that's a good starting point. Why does your mother have such a contract, and does she indicate that she'll hold you to it?"

With that question, a long discussion followed, along with several pots of tea and more snacks coming from the kitchen.

Misuzu leaned back on her hands. "Whew! If you hadn't included your honour, Saotome, I'd have a hard time believing half of what you've told us. I also suspect that this is just the tip of the iceberg. Can we take a break? I'm sure that the abbot here has lots of other tasks that need his attention…."

The abbot in question grinned and vigorously shook his head. "I have a feeling that my brother is up to his eyeballs in this and I'm probably going to have to help everyone. You never know when a holy man is needed….."

A cellphone rang and Saotome grabbed for his picket. "My apologies. I only have a few people who know this number and it would be urgent if they called me. Excuse me for a moment."

He stood up and stepped out on the veranda, talking quietly and rapidly.

Misuzu started to pick up the teapot and the plates when a sudden pain went up her neck and across the back of her head. "Ungh!"

The abbot looked up at her. "Is something wrong, my dear?"

"I normally get this when we have a bad storm coming in but it's a nice sunny day."

He nodded. "Unless it involves Saotome."

The man in question stepped through the door, pushing the phone back into his pocket. "We have problems. My three fiancees just arrived in Academy City and Kuno Konachi is with them. That was Sasuke, the Kuno's family ninja. He says that we have less than five minutes before they arrive. Abbot, I must leave as I'd rather not have your peace disturbed or your temple destroyed is these four get out of hand, and they usually do. I should leave before they get here."

Misuzu held up her hand. "Wait. Let me think and we can plan accordingly to minimize any mayhem that you think may take place. First, we have to move them elsewhere… Aside from their tempers and winding each other up, how normal are they when not in a group?"

"I can't speak for Kuno, but the others generally are pretty nice and normal. Shampoo goes off about I'm her husband and bouncing her bicycle off of my head, but she's the worst of the lot in that perspective."

Misuzu nodded and cleaned the table. "I've got an idea. Can you wait for me outside? I won't take a minute. Just have to put this in the sink and grab a couple of things."

A minute later, Saotome and the abbot were sitting on the front steps when Misuzu walked out of the door, closing it behind her, carrying her wallet and a sweater. Throwing on the sweater, she said. "Let's go down to the street and meet them there."

"Nani?", went Saotome. "What makes you think that they will go that way and not directly to the temple itself?"

"Easy. They're probably following your ki signature or whatever you call it. You simply go through a couple of your katas with the strength and power that you showed the abbot earlier and you'll stand out against the background like a lighthouse at night. When they show up, you simply bow out and cool off while I do the talking."

"Do you think that talking will stop them?"

"I'm betting that they've burned off so much energy getting here that the mention of ice cream and sweet desserts will stop them even momentarily, and their brains will engage."

"OK, but don't say that I didn't warn you. Any of them with a bee in her bonnet is crazy, but four of them…. It's like taking on all the bulls at Pamplona with a kerchief."

"Point noted. Abbot, are you coming?"

"Yes, but I'm going to stand well off to the side. If things go sour, I'll want enough room for what small powers I have to be able to defend the temple until the other monks can come to our rescue."

Saotome and Misuzu looked up in the direction of the train station. "We'd better get going. I'm feeling a big storm heading this way, and fast" Misuzu quietly said.

With that, they headed over to the torii and down the stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes:

BTW, I'm a published author ( books/view/265865).

The authors of the original novels and anime series retain their rights and privileges over their materials. This is a work of my own based upon their original works, but ignoring the canon where needed or when it stands in the way of a good embarrasing situation. I'm a wicked step-father (yes, really! My picture is in the pictionary with a double mental health warning: 1) Out to get every child in the world; and 2) Everybody is somebody's child.)

Also, go back and read my AN from the first chapter when you hit my systemic errors (spelling, Japanese names, muddling characters with similar names, that sort of thing.).

Thanks to everyone who has "favorite'd" my other stores "A Certain Arranged Marriage" and "Harry Potter and The Ghost Re-Animated".

-000000-

Saotomi arrived at the bottom of the stairs first and looked down the road, trying to spot anything out of the ordinary coming along the road or in the sky. "They're getting closer, but they're heading to the temple not here."

Sighing, he stepped forward and started into a simple kata, closing his eyes to ignore the pedestrians walking past and focusing his energies within himself to the highest possible level, quickly starting to glow as he worked through the sequence, and then blending it into a second, more complicated kata, followed by a third one.

Misuzu's voice broke through his concentration as she said "OK, I can see them. Time to take a break and relax. Let's see if my plan actually works."

"Hunh?", he looked at her. "You think that they'll just stop and say 'let's go for some ice cream and talk things through'?"

"That's my plan, dumb as it is. Now power down and cool off. Be casual and not ready to spring into action. That's the abbot's job."

Saotome shrugged as he again closed his eyes, concentrating on damping the raging energies that he had built up in the preceding minutes. When he opened his eyes, he looked down the street and saw four figures running along the sidewalk, with a fifth going off to the side, angling towards the temple mount.

"We've got one not sticking with the rest of the pack. It's Kuno, and she IS a loose cannon at the best of times. Damn! Someone's after her, now. Must be Sasuke. If it is, he might be able to get the drop on her or make her calm down enough to make a normal entrance without all the flower petals flying, cackling and poisoned black roses getting tossed like confetti."

Misuzu sighed. "Just relax and shut down your battle aura. That will make them uncertain as to what is happening and we may have a chance to get talking without starting off a round of mayhem."

Saotome grinned at her. "Where'd you get so smart about martial arts combat techniques?"

She sniffed. "With a dozen brothers and sisters, plus nine mothers, all with magic or esper powers? How could I not become a strategist. I'm probably the most normal one of the whole lot. Heads up! Here they come!"

Three figures could be seen running along the street, each trying to get ahead of the other, all with battle auras ablaze and hair streaming behind them. Well, two had long hair. The other and the one dressed like a typical Japanese schoolgirl, had shorter hair and was struggling a bit to keep up with the others with a flickering battle aura that seemed to go from blazingly bright to muted between one step and the next.

The other two arrived a heartbeat ahead of the short-haired girl, falling to a three-point posture as they braked hard. The short-haired girl tried to match the others and flopped unto her knees and rolled, taking out the other two and winding up on the bottom of the pile.

From behind them, a cackling started from the trees lining the staircase, followed by a storm of black rose petals exploding towards them. The fourth girl stepped out of the trees unto the stairs, hand lifted in front of her mouth as she chuckled. The effect would have been quite frightening if the last member of the group, a ninja figure, hadn't reached up behind her neck and applied what looked like a Vulcan neck-pinch to the shoulder where it joined her neck. As in the Star Trek episodes, her head snapped over to the side and she collapsed into unconsciousness, saved from a nasty fall by the ninja scooping her up in a fireman's carry. A fact made even more amazing that he was just a little more than half her height yet managed to keep her head from bouncing off of the stair behind him.

Walking down to the sidewalk, he gently laid her out on the edge of the sidewalk and then bowed to the abbot, Misuzu and then Saotome.

"My apologies for not managing to reach her before she started her entrance, abbot, Miss, Mister Saotome."

The abbot waved off the apology. Misuzu smiled in acceptance. Saotome shrugged as if the whole thing was so minor that the apology was not required.

The other three young ladies had managed to get themselves untangled and standing erect, looking at Saotome as he leaned back against the retaining wall beside the stairs.

Misuzu clapped her hands like a kindergarten teacher getting the attention of her students. It actually worked. "Before we get into discussions, Saotome and I were just going down the street and having some ice cream sundaes. Would you care to join us? One rule: conversation only. No martial arts or use of battle auras or weapons or anything else. Saotome, let's go, though we probably should pack along Kuno. Can't leave her lying here. Someone might take advantage of the poor girl. Sasuke, you're included as well."

The last comments resulted in snickers from the three other young ladies while Sasuke stood jaw-dropped and gob-smacked.

Saotome stepped up and picked up Kuno in a bridal carry and then neatly flipped her up over his shoulder into a fireman's carry, ignoring the flopping of her arms and head against his back and legs.

"I really shouldn't eat a sundae. It's not exactly manly," he said as he walked toward Misuzu.

"Never really stopped you before." This came from the three conscious girls as they dusted themselves off and dashed forward, taking up positions on either side of Soaotome and Misuzu. Sasuke sighed and took up a trailing position behind his mistress who still showed no signs of recovering.

Misuzu looked at the threesome and asked, "Am I understanding this, he likes sundaes?"

The short-haired one nodded. "When he's Ranko, I've seen him vacuum up sundaes and then cajole the shop owner for freebies, sometimes even three times. Disgusting! Perverted!" She sniffed and tossed her head to flip her hair, something that didn't work well with short hair.

Misuzu looked at Saotome who blushed and looked elsewhere but said nothing. "You mean that he crossdresses, um what is your name?"

"Tendo Akane, and it's not that… He …. He…. He changes. I mean that he has a curse and getting wet changes him from a guy to a girl and again to go back…." Looking at the others, she then added "He's not the only one that does it."

The purple-haired girl spoke up. "I'm Xian Pu but everyone seems to have problems saying it so they call me Shampoo. I've got a curse too, but I turn into a c-c-c-c…... Oh hell, airen, you've got me doing it now!"

Saotome looked at her and went "Miaow!" then froze as he realized what he'd just said. "S-s-s-s-sorry, Shampoo. I spoke before I thought. That was less than honourable for me to say."

Shampoos sniffed herself. "And you think that it is 'less than honourable' to not fulfill the kiss of marriage that we exchanged?"

Misuzu coughed. "Look. Let's stick to the rules, and I'll add one more: no snippy little remarks. I'm trying to understand the dynamics of everything with everyone, so you're going to have to give me the full history without everyone interrupting and winding everyone else up. OK?"

The third young lady looked over. "Uh, I'm Kyogi Ukyo. Fortunately, I don't have a curse, but unfortunately, I'm part of this circus, and it's all Saotome's fault!"

Everyone started talking at the same time, with the exception of Kuno, who still reamined draped over Saotome's shoulder.

"BANG!" came from a flash grenade exploding just in front of everyone, and Sasuke stepped around and faced them, with his hands on his hips, glaring at them all. "The young miss is right,. We have been invited to have a snack and discuss everything in a calm and orderly manner. I don't know what she is doing, but Mister Saotome is not disputing this, so we will have to talk and listen. I, for one, would enjoy a sundae. Shall we?"

He turned, and slightly bowed, sweeping his arm ahead of them. "Milady?"

Misuzu glanced at everyone else and barely contained the belly-laugh that ticked the back of her throat.

"Certainly, please follow me everyone."

She strided ahead of them all to the nearby ice cream parlour that she had intended to go to and opened the door, holding it open for everyone to go through.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes:

BTW, I'm a published author ( books/view/265865).

The authors of the original novels and anime series retain their rights and privileges over their materials. This is a work of my own based upon their original works, but ignoring the canon where needed or when it stands in the way of a good embarrassing situation. I'm a wicked step-father (yes, really! My picture is in the pictionary with a double mental health warning: 1) Out to get every child in the world; and 2) Everybody is somebody's child.)

Also, go back and read my AN from the first chapter when you hit my systemic errors (spelling, Japanese names, muddling characters with similar names, that sort of thing.).

Thanks to everyone who has "favorite'd" my other stores "A Certain Arranged Marriage" and "Harry Potter and The Ghost Re-Animated". All three are inter-related so you'll find characters from one appearing in another.

BTW #2, None of the series are guaranteed to take place within the same canon calendar years. Arranged Marriage actually takes place prior to my Railgun story (read Ranma, but then, you already know that as you're in th mioddle of the story), which takes place prior to Harry Potter. I know that I'm going to get complaints on that, so I'm heading things off. Just take it as the way that my mind worked and a leads to b to c and then to D, and so on.

-000000-

Saotome stared at the menu, confusion and anxiety sharing equal time and space on his face.

"I… I…. I….. really shouldn't be eating this, it's not manly." He finally sighed and placed the menu face-down on the tabletop.

Misuzu stared at him and then took in the expressions of the others, which ranged from an out-right gob-smacked expressions to eye-rolling. Though Kodachi Kuno's expression really didn't count as she was still unconscious, wedged in between Sasuke (eye-roll) and Uyko (gob-smacked). Next was Akane on Ranma's right (eye-roll), then Xian Pu (gob-smacked) and finally Misuzu.

Akane looked at Ranma and snickered. "This from the guy who…. Oh yes, that's right, you were a girl at all the other times, so that doesn't count, right?"

Misuzu rapped on the tabletop, sensing that this was going to be a massive circular argument and needed to be nipped in the bud.

"Akane, you mentioned that before and something about a curse. What exactly is the curse?"

Akane nodded and blushed. "It's complicated but here let me show you how it operates." Grabbing the glass in front of her, she batted away Ranma's scrambling hands and tossed its contents into the air, going towards the open end of the table. Misuzu looked up and marvelled that the stream of water actually curved in the air and went directly over Ranma's head and then splashed down. What was even more amazing was that as the water flowed down over Ranma, his appearance changed, dropping about six inches in height, black to red hair and a massive enlargment of his pectorals. Misuzu suddenly realized that they weren't pectorals but breasts, ones even larger than those sported by Xian Pu and Kodachi. Female Ranma was now the shortest but most well-endowed female at the table.

Akane plopped the glass down, grabbed some napkins, thrust them at Ranma, and then pushed the menu back in front of him/her?/whatever. "OK, order something already or I'll order the Big Date Special for you."

Ranma growled and took the menu, grumbling as she (Misuzu decided to stick to the sex being displayed rather than trying to figure out the right terminology.) Ranma slapped the menu down, "OK, Double-Date Special. Does that satisfy you?"

The others placed their menus down and snickered. Akane looked at Misuzu and said, "told you, biggest sundae in the house, and he'll come back for seconds if you don't watch out. I'll have the Strawberry Passion. I can guess that Shampoo's going to have the Passion Fruit Spendor, Ukyo's going to have the Chef's Special, Kodachi will have the Wild Fling, and Sasuke, lessee, plain ice cream, black sesame, or perhaps the Ninja Delight."

The other dropped their menus on the table, except for Kodachi who was still unconscious but showing some signs of recovering, and groaned. Xian Pu looked across in front of Ranma and glared at Akane. "Ugly fiancee who can't cook makes a good guess but Xian Pu will be having…"

Akane glared back and then snickered. "Something different, when you've always been ordering that when you try to seduce Ranma?"

Ukyo humpfed. "At least I'm the pretty fiancee. Not the slut, always chasing after him and flaunting yourself. Or the gorilla who has to beat darling Ranma into submission, or the crazy flower lady…"

"Hey, I resemble that remark" came the slurred words from Kodachi as she started to straighten up and realize exactly where she was.

"Shhhhhh!" went Misuzu and Sasuke like a pair of whistling kettles. Misuzu glared at them all, and nodding at the manager who was standing at their table, hands on hips and glaring at them all, definitely trying to decide between kicking them out and calling the police or calling the police and then kicking them all out.

"Miss Kamijou, if you can't keep your friends quiet, I'm going to have to ask you all to leave."

Misuzu gulped, followed by everyone else gulping and looking sheepish. "I guess that we'd better order and get out of here as quickly as possible, Mr. Horito. I really apologize for them, I wasn't expecting them to be this rambunctious."

The manager sniffed. "Alright, then. But this is your one and only warning. Anything more, and I'll call the police, no, the riot squad. Wakirimas?"

"Hai," came everyone's quiet voices. Mr. Horito looked at a nearby waitress and she jumped forward, pad and pencil ready.

Misuzu took a deep breath and started pointing. "Ninja Special, Wild Fling, Chef's Special, Strawberry Passion, Double-Date Special, Passion Fruit Splendor, and I'll have a …. a…. Akane! Help me!"

Akane flipped open the menu, glanced at it and looked up, smirking ever so slightly, "Just Plain Crazy".

Misuzu snickered. "Yes, that's what I am. And can you make this a rush? I don't think that these guys will be sitting still and being quiet for long without sundaes in front of them."

"Hai!" came the waitress's response as she quickly bowed and ran for the back counter.

Five minutes of frantic staff activity later…. And ten minutes of silent eating.

Misuzu could not believe her eyes. Ranma was now on his second Double-Date Special with no signs of slowing down, while everyone else has looking as if they had reached their limits and were simply struggling to finish but not willing to be the actual first person to finish. "Time to break the deadlock and get some actual data on this crowd."

She put her spoon down on the saucer and pushed the concoction away from her and sighed. "OK, while Ranma is over there struggling, why doesn't someone give me the run-down on their history with Ranma. Now remember the rules and follow them, everyone. This is for me to understand all the dynamics that are going on, not to say that anyone's claim is better than anyone else's. Akane? Why don't we start with you? Weren't you the first?"

Akane swirled her spoon around in the remaining melted ice cream, and then sighed, pushing it all away and then looking at Ranma.

"Yea, I'm the first, but that's only because our respective fathers betrothed us from before we were born. The first that I heard about Ranma was the day that he and his father arrived at our home, in the middle of a rainstorm. Didn't hear about the engagement until much later…" She paused and then started blushing. "Ranma was in the furo and I walked in as he was climbing out. Well, at the time, I thought that he was just this quiet girl…."

The others snickered and Kodachi guffawed, even Ranma quirked an eyebrow but continued spooning the sundae. Akane glared at them all.

Misuzu decided to step in and stop that particular wild horse from galloping off. "I think I can see. So that's when you called him a pervert? OK, what was your reaction to finding out that you were engaged."

Akane glared at her clenched fists. "Actually, the contract was for one Tendo daughter, and my two sisters did the fast shuffle and eliminated themselves from contention due to 'family commitments'. I got stuck with it by virtue of being the same age and being interested in martial arts, actually quite good at it too!" She looked around and challenged everyone to deny her claim. "Well, aren't I?"

The others looked as if they were about to snicker and then got thoughtful. Xian Pu lifted a finger into the air, and looked around to see if anyone else was looking as if they were about to speak. "Actually, you were pretty bad, no fault of your own. Your father should have been training you, and you were learning on your own. Grand-mother calls it practising your mistakes. Since, I've been here and I've seen you working out with Ranma, your martial arts skills have improved, and I've seen you taking on different styles and succeeding with them. If you were at the Amazon village, you might be quarter-finals easily, semi-final round occassionally, maybe even final on a really good day if you manage not to lose your temper and start 'it's clobbering time!' with your hammer. What's holding you back is that Ranma treats you like a girl rather than a student – he won't push you for fear that he'll hurt you. Now, with me, he doesn't hold anything back". The last was said in a tone that indicated that there was something more than martial arts going on.

Akane didn't know if she should be pleased with the praise or be insulted. She turned to Ranma who was rattling the spoon around the bottom of the dish, going for the last specks of fruit and ice cream, and nudged her in the ribs with her elbow. "Hey, did you hear that? I'd be a lot better with more practice. How come you won't spar with me?"

Ranma looked up and realized that an entire conversation had gone by and he hadn't paid close attention to it. He looked at the expectant faces of the two sitting beside him and figured out that someone or possibly both of them had painted him into a corner and whatever his answer, there would be blood on the dojo floor.

His finger started pointing around the table as he mentally recreated the conversation, and then blushed absolutely crimson as the implications of Xian Pu's last comment filtered into his consciouness. His mouth opened and he looked as if he was about to say something, when his brain fired off and he quickly shut it. This repeated several times while everyone watched him expectantly, with Akane obviously getting ready to blow up as this went on and on and on…

Ranma reached over and grasped Akane's and Xian Pu's hands, then closed his eyes and slowly spoke. "Akane's right, as is Shampoo, but not how she said it. I have been backing off on Akane just for that reason – I'm afraid that I'd hurt her. The crazy and absolutely stupid thing is, I don't hold back on any of the rest of you. You're tough enough and strong enough to stand it, and I figure that Akane's in the same camp, but I keep holding back. For some reason, and I'm willing to bet that Dad's to blame for this somehow and somewhere in all his rants about how weak females are in relation to true martial artists, you three are in a different class than Akane. The only reason for that that I can think of is that you three are not supposed to marry me to continue and unite the Anything Goes schools. Whatever your reasons are, they aren't those ones. Does that make sense?"

All four of the girls sat slack-jawed and stared at Ranma.

Misuzu looked around the table and realized that Ranma had just done something absolutely out of the ordinary for him.

"Can I take it that Ranma's usually not this insightful?"

The heads around the table swivelled in unison and focused on her. Kodachi started to chuckle and then snickered and then held the back of her hand to her mouth to stifle the booming laugh. The others looked at Kodachi and then back to her, reflecting similar expressions.

Kodachi sighed and then said, "Ranma is not known for insight. At best, he's known for having a sharp wit and fast mouth – the quick comeback, that daring jibe, the driving shout of whatever martial arts technique he's about to smash you with. Serious thoughts and Ramna normally do not mix, unless it is figuring out his opponent's tactics and how to beat them into submission. It must be all the ice cream that's frozen that part of his brain, allowing the rest of it to actually do some work for a change."

Ranma scowled and stood, reaching out for Kodachi, but was dragged back by the other three, while Susaki pulled his mistress back from Ranma's clenched hands.

"Oh, ho, ho ho ho!" Kodachi piped out with. "I believe that I've hit the mark, darling! Sit down, that was meant as a compliment though I admit that I did say it to rile you up as well."

Ranma sat down and pouted, with his arms crossed under her non-inconsiderable bosum. The girls shook their heads and smiled at each other, then straightened as they realized that they were agreeing with their rivals.

Akane, coughed into her hand and then went on to generally describe her life at home and at school, and the various adventures that she'd had. The others tossed in the occasional comment but generally restrained themselves.

The conversation then went into a discussion as to who should go next and the group decided on a straight historical order, so it went through the remaining fiancees: Ukyo, Xian Pu and finally Kodachi.

By the time that Kodachi finished, they had gone through the sundaes, two teas, a light snack and a cake/dessert tray.

Misuzu felt that she was totally stuffed both physically and mentally. As crazy as things could get in Academy City with the espers and magicians, it looked as if these were the equivalent for Nerima. In fact, someone (Ukyo?) had mentioned that the police had a term for everyone and their families and friends/foes: the Nerima Wrecking Crew. Misuzu was willing to bet that this was the nicest thing that they were called.

Pushing back on the table, she straightened her back and then leaned on her elbows, looking around the table. "Thank you for your patience today, everyone. You've given me a lot to think about and I'd like to leave you all with something to think about for the next time that we meet: in 500 words or less, please explain what it would take to break your engagement and satisfy honour. I've heard of why the engagement must go forward, but really want to see you think about the reverse. Having to argue the other side is often a good way of examining your motives and objectives. Just remember that there are no right or wrong answers. I'm going to be in Nerima in about a week or two, and I'll make arrangements for a neutral site. Is an ice cream parlour OK?"

Heads nodded up and down.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Notes:

The authors of the original novels and anime series retain their rights and privileges over their materials. This is a work of my own based upon their original works, but ignoring the canon where needed or when it stands in the way of a good embarrassing situation.

Also, go back and read my AN from the first chapter when you hit my systemic errors (spelling, Japanese names, muddling characters with similar names, that sort of thing.). I'm working on developing the good habit of spell checking and doing a grammar scan before I upload the next chapters. BTW, not going back and refreshing previous chapters.

Thanks to everyone who has "favorite'd" my other stores "A Certain Arranged Marriage" and "Harry Potter and The Ghost Re-Animated". All three are inter-related so you'll find characters from one appearing in another.

-000000-

Misuzu Kamijou smiled at the two young ladies sitting opposite her, and the my-parents-age lady sitting to her right. "Thank you for meeting me here. Shall I o

pour tea or would you prefer to do this yourselves?"

The three obviously nervous nodded and gave a faint smile, and the older lady quietly said "please, my dear, go ahead."

Misuzu smiled her best "please relax" smile and pulled the tray towards her and then poured tea into the four cups in front of her and handed them to the ladies and took the remaining cup and quietly sipped it, appreciating the flavour of the tea, then place the cup down in front of her.

"I know that this sounds very unusual and not what you expect a psychologist to be doing, but I'm working with Ranma Saotome to help him with his various problems and concerns. I've been meeting him with his fiances and am getting a handle on the dynamics of the situation. Why I've invited you three here today is that I'd like to include your side of what has been happening and where you see things that concern you."

"Now, I realize that we may be getting into what feels like personal information, and you may not wish to participate in some or any aspects, or do so in a public place. I understand and appreciate your personal concerns and feelings. What I do want to say is that everything that you say will be taken in the strictest confidence and will not be repeated to anyone outside of this group without your permission."

She stopped and looked at the three sitting across the table from her. They slowly nodded. The older lay raised a finger from how she was contemplating her hands wrapped around her teacup.

"What if what we are talking about is less than honorable?"

Misuzu nodded and adopted a serious expression. "We avoid talking about things being honourable and not honourable, Saotome-sama. We will be focusing on what we see as facts and feelings, but not ascribing right or wrong immediately. I understand that honour, especially family honour, is a big concern to you. At least, that is what I've been told. If you're not comfortable with that, we can do these sessions one-on-one."

Mrs. Saotome nodded, then smiled. "Please call me Nodoka, Misuzu-chan. Madame Saotome sounds too much like my poor deceased mother-in-law. Can I ask one honour-related question?" Misuzu nodded back. "Do you think that my son has been behaving honourably?"

Misuzu sat back and considered her words. "Ranma has been trying to behave honourably and to treat everyone in a respectful manner. He is in a situation not of his making and is trying to be a dutiful son, even when his elders are acting in a less-than-honourable manner. His seeking assistance is a sign of a person who wants to resolve a situation that he has little or no control over but does not have the perspective to know the proper or honourable means of resolving it."

Nodoka nodded and reached under the table, pushing the cloth wrapped bundle further away from her. She picked up her teacup and took a sip from it, smiling across the rim at Misuzu, then turned toward the other two young ladies. "Nothing that I am about to say is to be repeated or acted upon by either of you, Kasumi-chan, Nibiki-kun. It would be ... less than honourable."

The other two rapidly nodded and almost puppetted each other's words. "No, Auntie Nadoka. Absolutely not."

Nadoka smiled at them. "Misuzu-chan, I assume that some of what you're going to ask us may be very private and personal in nature. I will endeavor to take the course of honour and to treat it as such."

All three of the others sweat-dropped, sighed and nodded.

Misuzu did a quick mental review of her notes, and tried to get things back on track.

"Mad... um, Nadoka. What was the reason behind the man-amongst-men contract that you three signed.?"

Nodoka tipped her right eyebrow at Misuzu as if to imply "you don't know that it's for?", and then took another sip of her tea. "Simple. While my husband can be ahem 'less than honourable' at times, he does have a highly-developed sense of self-preservation when it comes to his own skin. When he came up with this idea of an extended training trip, I had to do something that ensured his return. Hence, the contract that Ranma be returned as a 'man amongst men' or else..." She reached under the table and drew out the bundle and placed it across her lap and gave it a gentle caress. She than looked at Kasumi and Nibiki, then chuckled. "See, even these two are affected and they aren't even in the contract. I guess that I've been milking that for all its worth and may have overdone it a bit... But only just a little bit."

Misuzu caught Kasumi and Nibiki face-faulting from the corner of her eye.

"Yes, maybe just a bit, but then that is a role that you cannot play halfway. How do you feel that that has affected Ranma?"

Nodoka sighed and placed the bundle on the table, close to Misuzu and out of her immediate reach. "I've seen it but cannot release him from the contract without releasing his father, and loosing my only means of control. Yes, I realize that does not help Ranma. So, I ask you, what can I do?"

Misuzu nodded. "Just like Ranma, you're painted yourself into a corner and cannot escape. You have to keep playing the role, which only servers to makes things that much worse. Not easy. My quick suggestions would be... mention that you know about Ranko and bearing a Jusenko curse is not dishonourable in itself - only what you do is honourable or not. Loose the sword if at all possible when you say that. Better yet, in a quiet moment when it is just the two of you..."

Nodoka smiled and sighed, then bowed from the waist. "I shall consider your words, Kamijou-sensei. Your wise words belie your young years. I will act upon them this coming week. I suspect that it would be a good time to do so after dinner one night this coming week. Kasumi-chan, when would be a good evening for me to drop by and show you some of Ranma's favourite meals, even if they are ten years behind the young man that he is."

Kasumi smiled and bowed towards Nadoka. "Saturday is a good evening. I have a date with Doctor Ono, and you helping would be a good cover. Of course, don't bring the sword, as it WILL create the wrong impression and server more of a distraction."

"Saturday afternoon, it is, and I will NOT bring the sword. Would a French loaf be allowed?"

Kasumi snickered. "That would certainly unsettle them enough to make them all behave."

Nodoka smiled and nodded. "Misuzu-chan. I feel that you are probably going to be discussing Ranma with Kasumi and Nibiki. Probably this will get to be very personal and I don't think that I should be hearing this. It'll be horribly embarrassing for you and I'd rather not add to your... ahem... feelings."

Nibiki smirked and leaned across her sister to look at Auntie Nodoka. "In not so many words, you're dying to hear gossip about your son and feel that doing so would be 'less than honourable'. Or worse yet, hear abut Ranma being that way inclined and feeling that you have have words with him... Of course, then you'd be breaking your own words about honour to mention what you know and where you learned about it..."

Nodoka leaned back and sighed. "Flayed by my own words. Misuszu-chan, is there no hope for me? Nibiki-kun is right, too. By the way, we're out of tea. Nibiki, can you ask the waiter for another pot of tea. Lapsang souchong, if you don't mind, and an extra-large pot. I feel that we're going to be here for a while."

Nibiki looked like a guppy out of water for about five seconds then stood up. "Fine! I'll go find her. Do you want some pastries as well?"

"Oh, yes, now that you've mentioned it my dear. Something light that won't ruin our dinners."

Kasumi snickered at the by-play. "Nibiki, better go and find our waiter. I don't think that you're going to win this battle."

Nibiki sighed and her shoulders slumped. At that moment, the sliding door opened and a young waitress bowed and asked "You would like some more tea?"

Nibiki repeated Nodoka's requests and the waitress bowed again and departed sliding the door closed.

Nibiki sat down in her previous position and drained her teacup in a single gulp then gently placed it back in front of her, body language showing that she'd rather be yelling and slamming the cups down.

Kasumi bumped her sister. "Auntie Nodoka does that to me when she drops in. Pushes the right buttons and then pretends nothing happened when you're about to explode. Come on, Misuzu, ask your questions and we'll do our best to give your answers guaranteed to make Auntie blush and bleed from her nose."

Nibiki looked at her older sister with a "you've got to be kidding" expression and then sighed.

"She's right, with Ranma and Akane telling you all about life at the Tendo household, you probably have a good idea of the craziness that ensues on a regular basis."

Misuzu coughed into her fist, and then regarded all three of her guests. Just at that moment, the waitress returned with another tray with a large pot of tea as well as an equally large plate of pastries. She then removed the previous tray and the smaller teapot. Reaching the door, she bowed again. "If you need anything else, please do not hesitate to call on any of the staff. The manager will ensure that you are not disturbed and will have absolute privacy."

Nodoka nodded. "Please tell that manager that his gesture is greatly appreciated."

As the waitress bowed and slid the door shut, Misuzu and older Tendo sisters stared at Nodoka, who shrugged. "I have tea here a lot, so I guess that the manager decided to let us stay here as long as we want. Misuzu-chan, didn't you have some questions for Kasumi and Nibiki?"

Misuzu realized that she's totally lost all control over what was happening, and pulled the first question our of her scrambled mental notes. "Why did you nominate Akane as the promised bride?"

Both of the Tendo sisters looked very sorry and glanced over to Nodoka. Kasumi sighed and started. "Yes, we threw Akane and Ranma under the bus. We could have stood up and presented Father and Mister Saotome a united front along with them. Forcing them into a relationship like that was less than honourable on our fathers' parts, but so was how the two of us essentially went along with their plans for our own reasons. We also really didn't help things when all the chaos started and still continues."

Nibiki shrugged and nodded. "We were doing things with the best of intentions, to keep our family together and the dojo financially stable. Looking at things again, we probably weren't doing everything that we should have been doing. I mean between Ranma and Akane on the martial arts front, we had the firepower to make a stand and get some sense of stability and then managed from there. Never did. All we can do is to support Ranma in this and give him, and Akane, room to make the right decisions."

Misuzu nodded. "Going to take a lot of courage and determination. A random thought just kicked in. Have either of you considered yourselves as possible wives for Ranma, rather than Akane?"

Both of the Tendo girls blushed absolutely red, looked at each other, and then snickered and blushed even more deeply, performing something that Misuzu thought impossible until she saw there two in action. Misuzu glanced at Nodoka and had her quirk both eyebrows in reply.

She took a deep breath. "Do either of you want to explain your reaction to that question?"

Nibiki looked at Kasumi, who looked back at Nibiki. Both shrugged and then raised a fist each. Bouncing them up and down three times, their hands opened. Nibiki whispered "scissors cut paper. Your call, Kas."

Kasumi sighed. "I'd better answer this. I've been thinking about this, and I guess that Nibiki has. About a week ago, I guess that all three of us - Akane, Nibiki and me - decided to quietly do a bit of 'stress relief'. What we each didn't know at the time was that the other two decided that they also needed it at exactly the same time. I'd seen Ranma working out just before supper and decided to have a bit of fantasy that included Ranma. Well, one thing lead to another and I... I... I... well, finished and breathed out Ranma's name. That's when I heard Nibiki's voice call out Ranma's name at the same time that Akane..."

Kasumi sighed. "The next morning was really embarrassing for all three of us. I think that Ranma must have heard all of us as well because he literally ran into the dining room, gobbled his breakfast and then dashed off for school, telling Akane that he had something that he had to to do first thing and he'd see Akane in class."

Nibiki snickered and shook her head. "Sorry, but there was someone using the furo at that very moment, and it wasn't Ranma. Or rather, it was but it wasn't."

Kasumi looked at her sister with a puzzled expression, to which Nibiki played up by wiggling her eyebrows and then giving a plumb to her breasts. Kasumi then went absolutely red once again. "Are you sure?"

Nibiki nodded. "My bedroom's right over the furo, and I distinctly heard a fourth 'Ranma' being moaned that night, followed by her voice going "Eep!" like she always does. Never heard of a guy getting some 'stress relief" and moaning out his own name in a feminine voice. 'Akane' would be expected but not 'Ranma'. Unless he's a lot more perverted that we ever thought or it was..."

Kasumi finished "Ranko. Oh, my. "

Misuzu queried, "who's Ranko?"

Kasumi sighed. "It's the name that sort of got added to Ranma's female form. It came about when Ranma started encountering his mother..." She blushed again and looked at Nadoka. "Sorry, Auntie Nadoka."

Nodoka nodded. "No fault of yours, but my own. Ranma believed that I would enforce the contract on the basis of his having a female half to his life. From what I've seen and heard, the only thing really dishonourable about his female half is her propensity for consuming large quantities of ice cream sundaes while claiming that eating the same ice cream was not manly when himself. Yes, 'himself' is the right term. Misuzu, you've seen Ranma transform, haven't you."

"Yes, the first day that I met him in Academy City, but I didn't know that he had another name and used it. Does he always make the distinction between Ranma and Ranko and does his personality or anything else change?"

Nibiki snickered. "Think of Ranko as Ranma hiding the fact from his mother, or when he's trying to cajole free food from a sundae shop or street vendor. No real difference between him and her, usually. The only time is when he gets dosed with some potion or spell and gets locked into his female body with an appropriate personality being downloaded into his brain. So far, we've always survived and gotten Ranma back to usual 'wild horse' self. "

"Speaking of Ranko, Kasumi, we're going to make sure not to mention anything about Ranma being in the furo THAT night. I think that Akane will go into her berserker mode over that. Auntie Nadoka, I'll admit, in spite of what you just heard, we're all quite prudish and Akane's even more so. She'll totally flip if we drop this tidbit on her without getting her in a receptive mood first."

Kasumi nodded.

Misuzu lifted a finger. "Don't keep this a big secret for very long. This sort of thing could seriously impact everyone's lives. How have Ranma and Akane been behaving lately?"

Kasumi said, "I think that Ranma is trying to explain to Akane but doesn't seem to know where to start without Akane getting triggered into her 'pervert mood'. I think that we're going to have to do this ourselves, with just the four of us there. No fathers and definitely no Happosai."

Nibiki gave her usual smirk. "You mean, give them a bribe to disappear for the evening? There's enough money in the budget for the fathers, but adding Happosai to the equation and him knowing that Ranma will be at home with three women... That'll be a big temptation for him to drop in and be his usual perverted self. Sounds like I'm going to have to send them out for an evening at a girlie-club or something like that, which WILL cost money, especially if they know that Happosai will be there. Plus Dad's on the town council, so that will have to be as discrete as possible, which is not going to be cheap but less so that covering Happosai's habits around women in general." She wiggled her fingers, using the Chisanbop or FingerMath method rather than dragging out an abacus ore reaching for her cellphone. Looking at her fingers, she shrugged. "It's possible, only just within the budget as long as the chaos and property damage stays at the normal levels. Give me tomorrow to set it up, and we can do it on Wednesday. That'll give things a chance to settle some before Auntie Nodoka comes around for dinner... Agreed?"

Kasumi nodded. Nadoka nodded. Misuzu sighed.

"I think that we'd better just let things lie as they are and I can try to digest what I've heard. I'm probably going to have a lot more questions but they can wait until you have had your two evenings. If you need my help, jus give me a call and I'll be on the next train from Academy City. Right now, I really could do with some more tea and at least two of those wonderful pastries that we'd been provided with."

The other women nodded. Misuzu poured cups of tea all around and each reached for a couple pastries.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Notes:

All of the characters portrayed are nominally the copyright of the original author and producers. Be warned that canon characters may exhibit traits and personalities not in alignment with the original works. All OOC characters are my own invention or modification of existing canon characters.

This is intended for the entertainment of the reader and no commercial use is allowed.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Wednesday evening, Dinnertime at the Tendo household.

Everyone was gathered around the dinner table, waiting for Kasumi to start serving when Happosai bounced into the room.

Everyone flinched.

Happosai smiled at the reaction that he'd evoked. "Nibiki, you asked me to show up at dinnertime and to be punctual. Have you something important to give me?" he said with a smirk that was more leer.

Nibiki reached into the back pocket of her jeans and placed a thick envelope in front of him but kept her hand firmly on it when he made a grab for it.

"Wait, you old reprobate! Inside are three Executive admission tickets for the Kit-Kat Klub. In addition, there are sufficient funds for drinks, dinner and entertainment for you, Father and the Fat Panda here. You will take these two with you immediately and not return until bed-time. Do you understand?"

"Nani?" came from Happosai, as well as her and Ranma's fathers, along with matching quizzical expressions.

"Tonight is a girls-night meeting with Ranma. We're going to be discussing some very personal items and I do mean personal. If any of you even think of trying to get back early or even start sniffing around for what we'd discussed at any time in the future, the wedding will be off and all four of us will be moving out and into an apartment together, and the three of you can try leading the bachelor lives all by yourselves. Wakirimas?" Her tone brooked no dissent from the recipients, who blanched slightly, visualizing a certain kimono-wearing mother who carried the family honor sword with her at all times.

"Hai!" came the quick response from the three parties, with a fourth coming from Ranma before he realized that he was not included in the outgoing party.

Nibiki looked at Ranma and smiled, making sure that she used her friendliest smile reserved for special occasions like birthdays and Christmas and not her usual money-making shark-grin. Ranma's eyebrows crept up in surprise and then he slumped. "Yes," she said to Ranma quietly, "THAT. Don't worry; this won't be a Hammering Time. We just want to clear the air so no one has hurt feelings. Speaking of hurt feelings, aren't you three supposed to be heading out, like now?"

The three immediately jumped to their feet, bowed and apologized to Kasumi who was just coming into the room with the main dinner dishes, and then dashed for the front door.

Ranma looked more like a rabbit caught in someone's garden or in front of a fox as Kasumi placed the main dishes in front of him.

"Relax, Ranma. We got rid of those three so that we could have a chat. No one is going to be blamed for anything, and no one is going to get hammered. Akane, dear? Why don't you help Ranma with his dinner? He seems a bit distracted at the moment and may need help serving or even feeding himself."

Akane's expression rapidly matched Ranma's. "Yes, just scoot over and snuggle up a bit so you can reach everything," went Kasumi as she stood up and heading back into the kitchen with Nibiki walking behind her.

She shifted over, really getting further into Ranma's comfort zone that she usually did, excepting the rare occasions after a big fight and she'd gotten injured or worse, or some evenings spent watching the lights over Nerima from the rooftop. She started serving the rice from the cooker for the four of them, and then started shifting the vegetables and meat from the serving dishes into her and Ranma's plates. Nudging Ranma, she looked at his expression which probably matched hers.

"Ranma, I think that last week got discussed between them and Misuzu-senpai. They're being really especially nice to both of us..."

Ranma nodded and then looked in her direction, blushing and looking totally embarrassed. "I think so, too. I mean Misuzu-senpai. But I think that this is all my fault, too."

Akane's right eyebrow quirked. Before she could say anything, Kasumi rolled in with the remaining dishes and placed them down.

She smiled at the two staring up at her. "Now. House rule #1: no discussion about THAT until after we've had dinner and tidied up. House rule #2: relax, no one is in trouble or will get punished for THAT. House Rule #3 and this is for Akane only: no jumping to conclusions and punishing anyone for anything, unless you get permission from Nibiki and me."

Nibiki came in with a large teapot, and placed it beside Ranma and smiled (a real actual smile). "Exactly, we did talk with Misuzu and decided that we did need to clear the air, rather than letting things slide and be like cockroaches under the carpet. So we got the three biggest problems in this household out for the evening. What gets discussed involves only us and what we decide will remain amongst us, and it WILL go no further. OK?"

"Hai," went Ranma and Akane.

"Good!" went Nibiki. "Akane, can you please server everyone else, I'll get the tea and Kasumi can relax."

Dinner was portioned out and everyone started eating, though Ranma and Akane did have distracted expressions and kept stealing glances with each other.

Akane was picking up the dinner dishes with Ranma's help when Kasumi came bustling back from the kitchen with a massive white concoction with scorch marks all over it. "Akane," she went, just put those dishes on the counter and grab some bowls, dessert spoons and a big serving spoon. This will melt very quickly unless we eat it first."

Akane stole a quick glance as Ranma, who was regarding the dish with horror-filled eyes. Shoulder-pushing him into the kitchen, she placed her dishes in the sink and then relieved him of the ones that he was carrying. Looking at Ranma again, she saw that he still had the same horrified expression. "OK, what is it? some form of poison that we're going to have to eat and then die before Father and you Pop get back?"

His head slowly shook. " B-b-b-b-b-b-Baked a-a-a-al-Alaska."

Akane was gob-smacked. "Kasumi made Baked Alaska for dessert, and you're horrified? " She face-palmed and then realized why. "Come on, you idiot! She knows all about you and ice cream sundaes. This is a treat. It's a manly thing to eat this. It's definitely NOT manly to even think about skipping out. Look at it this way, if we don't finish it, guess who WILL be getting it when they get back. Do you want THAT on your conscience?"

Ranma shook as if he'd hit a live electric cable of at least 200,000 volts. "No! No. Kasumi would be very disappointed in me if I didn't eat... it."

Sighing, he pulled Akane out of the kitchen after grabbing the requested dessert bowls and spoons.

O-O-O-O-O (scene deleted - Ranma attacks Baked Alaska as only a martial artist should...)

After Nibiki returned from the kitchen with a fresh pot of tea, everyone shifted from the table to the living room and sat down, passing their teacups to Nibiki who poured.

Putting everything down, Nibiki looked at Akane and started. "OK, Kasumi and I have compared notes on what we thought happened last week. Akane, why don't you tell us what you were doing and what thought that you heard." Without looking in Ranma's direction, she snagged him out of mid-air as he leaped toward the front door and pulled him down beside her, then draped her right arm over his shoulder to hold him in place, ignoring what bits and pieces of her chest anatomy were pushing against his arm.

Akane now had the rabbit-in-headlights expression and was twiddling her fingers and looking awfully embarrassed.

Nibiki smirked. "OK, let me start and tell me if I'm wrong. You were lying in bed and couldn't go to sleep like you usually do, so you started thinking about Ranma and his last practice session and decided to have a little bit of 'stress relief'..."

Akane's head snapped up. "IT was nothing like that, Biki! Well... well... maybe... yes. OK, Yes it was but it wasn't anything dirty, not like you're insinuating!"

Kasumi put her teacup down. "Nibiki said nothing of the sort, though she could have said it more diplomatically. Actually, it turns out that both of us couldn't sleep as well, and ... Um... well ... OK! WE decided to do some stress relief and were thinking about Ranma as well! Are you happy, now, Nibiki!"

Nibiki leaned forward, dragging Ranma along with her. "Wasn't that easy to say? I mean the only one here who really should be embarrassed about the whole thing hasn't said a word. Isn't that right, Ranma?"

Ranma hung his head. "Gomen nessai," he muttered afraid to meet anyone's eyes.

"Ah-ah-ah!" Nibiki quipped as she flipped the end of his nose. "So far, you haven't said anything that would be worth punishing you for, if at all. BTW, while there were three wonderful young ladies all thinking about you at the same time, what were you doing and thinking about? I mean, you were getting some stress relief at this time, weren't you?"

Akane leaped to her feet, anger streaming on her face as her hand started reaching into hammer space. She encountered Kasumi with one of Gemma Saotome's signs reading "House Rule #3". Stopping in mid-stride, she sat down and drew a deep breath, obviously struggling to center herself. Finally gaining her balance, she sat down, planted a wooden smile on her face and glared at Ranma. "My apologies, sisters. Please proceed, Ranma," she said in a conversational tone, implying that her preferred tone would not be so gentle and peaceful.

Nibiki beat Ranma to the punch and looked at Akane. "No, dearest sister. You're jumping to assumptions, again. What you have to ask is where was Ranma at this time and who was in the furo under my room, getting some 'stress relief'. I'll shorten the conversation by several minutes in the spirit of moving things along and getting straight to the point. I heard Ranko's voice coming from the furo. Wasn't that right, Ranma?"

Akane was gob-smacked and then boiled over once again. Kasumi applied the Gemma-sign to the back of Akane's head and then pushed her down into the chair. Akane stammered "you... you.. were Ranko and getting stress relief when we... we.. we.. You pervert!"

Kasumi shushed Akane. "Please listen to Ranma's explanation. You need to have all of the facts before you go off. Ranma, please explain everything that you were doing and feeling. It's going to be embarrassing but nothing as embarrassing as Nibiki forcing the truth out of you. Remember: neither Nibiki nor I are angry as to what happened, and I'll sit on Akane to keep her from doing something emotional without getting all of the facts first. Not telling her everything would... would ... would be less than honourable."

Ranma blanched and looked at the two older sisters. "You've been talking to my mother, haven't you?"

Nibiki loosened her grip and shifted over a bit, shifting her arm's grip to being more of a companionable drape across his shoulders. "Yes, she may be a crazy old bird, but she's not stupid. You should spend some time with her, but do try to hide that honour sword first."

Kasumi sighed. "Ranma, that last bit was a joke, want it, Nibiki?"

Nibiki snickered. "Sorry, just had to drop that gem into the conversation. Go on, at your own pace, and I promise that we'll keep our questions to a minimum until the end. Right, Akane?"

Akane's head bobbed up and down without enthusiasm. Kasumi slid in beside Akane and wrapped her arm around Akane's shoulder, giving her a half-hug.

Ranma blushed and twiddled his fingers while he considered them. "OK, here goes. I couldn't get to sleep. Having everyone, especially Akane watching me do the new katas that I learned seemed to wind me up to the point where I was wide awake. I went down to the furo, thinking that it should still be pretty warm and I could soak for a while and relax. Well, that was my plan. When I got down there, I was as stiff as a board, and thinking about Akane watching me do the katas just made things ... harder."

Nibiki snickered and then looked apologetic. "Sorry, dirty mind. Mine, not yours, Ranma."

Ranma shrugged and twitched one corner of his mouth. "Turns out, I was so tense that nothing happened. Here I am, one of the world's greatest martial artists, and nothing's happening." His shoulders slumped.

"Performance anxiety," whispered Kasumi. Ranma's head snapped up. Kasumi smiled. "Sorry, one of the books that I've borrowed from Doctor Ono. Everything has to have a natural flow and when you try forcing things, it gets blocked. Think of it as a chi flow."

Ranma nodded. "Doesn't work quite like that but yeah, I was forcing things, trying to be all quiet and not bother anyone. sigh Figured that I might as well use the furo and just try to relax enough to go back to sleep. One foot went in and I flipped. Rather than climbing out again and trying something else, I just slid the rest of the way in and just started some mediation exercises. Not sure if it was anything that I did or planned, but I was pretty well relaxed when I started to get a tingle. You know, down there and in my nipples. I mean, I was almost asleep and not really thinking, so I started to well, gently rub myself."

Akane looked up. "Do you do this often?"

Ranma looked over at her and then lowered his head. "Not very often, but a couple of times when I first got cursed. Of course, between Pop and I get chased by the Amazons and everything else since then, maybe five or six times. " He suddenly realized where his mouth was leading him and he hung it even lower. "Way less than honourable, I guess."

Nibiki gave him a half-hug and scrunched back beside him, moving her arm from his shoulders to take one of his hands. "No, not so. It's called being human and you were also fighting your female half most of the time or using it to get something that you wanted. This was the first time that you just let things flow and weren't pushing things, wasn't it?"

Ranma nodded and squeezed Nibiki's hand.

"I was thinking about how nice Akane felt against me and the tingling got to the point where, you know, I just had to touch myself and make the good feelings keep going. It felt like I was slowly building up for a big chi blast but it was down there and what it was telling me was that I needed something there, inside me." His blush was really deep and tears started rolling down his face.

"That's when it got really crazy when I pushed my fingers inside me and started pumping in and out, and the chi kept building and building. All I could think of was Akane and... and ... and... When the wave broke, It wasn't Akane that I was thinking of but myself and how I was so jealous of Akane that ... that ... that she could do this and I couldn't. I wanted to shout and groan and yell out something but I couldn't because it would wake everyone. All I could do what groan out my name, and that when I hear all of your voices also groaning out my name. I panicked and just about drowned myself. I waited until I could hear everyone else back asleep and then crept back to my bed. That's why I was all freaky the next morning. I couldn't face any of you, thinking that you'd all heard me. Pretty much the same since then. Every time I get close to any of you, especially Akane, I get really nervous and feel ashamed, and ... and..."

Akane shrugged off her older sister and went over to Ranma and gently pulled his head up so that he was looking at her, tears streaming down his face. She wrapped her arms around his head and sat down on his lap, pulling his head down to hers and covering him with deep soulful kisses.

Nibiki gently pulled her hand out of Ranma's, and then shifted his hand unto Akane's waist and then shifted over to take Akane's place in the opposite chair, leaning into Kasumi, who wrapped her arms around her sister, drawing and giving comfort.

O-O-O-O-O (remainder of scene deleted - NO, this is NOT waves rolling in on the beach like "From Here to Eternity"...)

Nibiki and Kasumi were sitting on the steps for the front door when three more-than-slightly-drunken martial artists staggered through the gate noisily, then noisily shushed themselves, over-compensated on straightening themselves and marched towards the front door to the house, and route made that much longer due to the non-directional staggering.

Nibiki stood up and opened the doors while Kasumi came down to greet the threesome.

"I see that you all thoroughly enjoyed yourselves. Now, Ranma and Akane have gone to bed early and they really do need peace and quiet. So. From this point forward, no loud noises, Just go straight to bed and good night."

Gemma's alcohol-befuddled mind caught a thought and stage-whispered to Kasumi, "How can I be quiet if Ranma's sleeping in the room."

"He isn't. He's sleeping on a quilt in Akane's room. And before you and Father start waving the victory flags and start cheering about the schools being united, this is not one of those times. They've had a long and emotional night and are too tired to even think of fooling around. The only thing that you can cheer about (and keep this inside your head) is that they are in agreement with each other and are happy at the moment. Having said that, they are also adamant that marriage is not even on their horizons but they are willing to have the 'engaged' status."

Both of the respective fathers looked at each other and gave each other a thumbs-up, then smiled at Kasumi and staggered into the house, actually managing to navigate the entranceway, change their shoes for slippers and stagger up the stairs to their respective rooms.

Nibiki came out the doorway and stood beside Kasumi, both looking at Happosai. He straightened up, shedding the drunkenness and over-indulgence like a dirty robe. "So, whatever we're not supposed to be talking about has been resolved and everyone's happy, except for me. No way that I can sneak in and take a peek at the two?"

"Absolutely not. This is not just a matter of honour but honour for a martial artist, and we WILL hold you to that, even if we have to bring Nadoka into the discussion. Clear enough?"

"Clear as spring air, my dears. I'll see you in the morning. "

"Sweet dreams, Grandfather" they young ladies chimed simultaneously, then realized what they had said and looked at each other.

"Oh, I will and thank you for the wonderful evening." He quietly strode into the house and proceeded to his room, quietly whistling a jaunty air.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Notes:

All of the characters portrayed are nominally the copyright of the original author and producers. Be warned that canon characters may exhibit traits and personalities not in alignment with the original works. All OOC characters are my own invention or modification of existing canon characters.

This is intended for the entertainment of the reader and no commercial use is allowed.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Thursday morning, breakfast at the Tendo household.

Ranma and Akane crept down the stairs and stuck their heads into the kitchen. As expected, Kasumi was preparing breakfast for the household. She started and then turned towards them, smiling.

"You're up bright and early!" she spoke quietly. "Go, sit down and I'll get your breakfasts out in a minute. Did you sleep well?"

They nodded, both blushing and looking down, then realizing that they were holding hands. They quickly released the hand that they were holding.

Kasumi laughed lightly. "No need to do that, no one else is around, and, yes, public displays of affection are allowed, so long and Nibiki or I are around to keep those blockheads in line.. No go and sit down."

They turned and headed for the dining table, surprised to see Nibiki sitting there, waiting for them with a slight smile on her face. She shifted back, still in her kneeling position, and did a full bow to them.

"I have to apologize for my behaviour. I took advantage of your good graces. While it was to keep the household going, that need is no longer there and we can survive without my having to sell pictures of you. As of this moment, all pictures of you that I take will be private and family only. No sales allowed."

Akane and Ranma were gobsmacked by her apology as Nibiki straightened up and faced them again. Then Akane realized that Ranma had been included in the apology, and looked at Ranma.

"Nabs has been taking pictures of me or rather Ranko all over the place, including when she thought that I didn't see her or was asleep. Especially when I was asleep. I occurs to me that Kuno's going to be going through cold-turkey when you tell him that everyone's been cut off."

Nibiki pouted. "It's Nibiki, not Nabs. I thought that I was being so quiet and sneaky."

Ranma smirked. "You forgot the training that I was undergoing, plus being chased all over by angry fathers-of-the-bride and Amazons. Slept so lightly that a mouse in the room would wake me, let alone the Fat Panda of a father trying to catch me unawares."

Nibiki looked down and chewed on her lower lip, then made a mental decision. She reached beside her plate, picked up a number of largish envelopes, put two back down and handed one to each of them.

"This is the first of the family-only pictures that I'll be taking. I took it last night when you were both sleeping, I stuck my head into the room to make sure that you were asleep before our fathers and Happosai returned from their evening out."

Akane opened her envelope and pulled out the picture that it contained with Ranma looking over her shoulder. It showed Ranma-as-Ranko and Akane, lying in a futon bed, foreheads touching and arms wrapped around each other. Their expressions were of total peace and contentment. The angle showed that the photographer was literally standing over them. Ranma growled at Nibiki, and she did another full bow. Ranma sighed and signaled her to straighten up.

"I really must have been out of it last night, Akane. I didn't even know that that picture had been taken."

Nibiki blushed. "There are four copies of the original picture, one for each of you and one for me and Kasumi. The original image has been deleted and I've destroyed the memory card that I had in the camera when I took it. I printed the pictures on copy-proof paper. You can't make a copy with another camera, or a photocopier or a scanner in a photobooth. It's impossible with current technology. I'd suggest putting those somewhere where our fathers can't get at them, and Kasumi and I will as well."

Akane and Ranma nodded and sat down at their usual locations, placing their envelopes beside their plates. Kasumi strolled in with a platter of fried fish, eggs and other breakfast items and placed the dish in the middle of the table and sat down beside her sister. Nibiki handed one of the envelopes to Kasumi who opened it and extracted the photograph and looked at it, then smiled at Nibiki. "This is definitely one of your best ever. I'll treasure it. Thank you. BTW, I heard your apology and agree: this is not something that our fathers need to see, though I think that Ranma's mother might like to see it and possibly get a copy. However, as you said, no more copies can be made. Shame though.'

"Inetakimas!" they said, bowing over their hands, and then started into their food.

As Kasumi was collecting the breakfast dishes, Suon and Gemma stumbled down the stairs and collapsed into their normal locations and looked blearily around for their breakfasts. Kasumi strolled in from the kitchen and placed a platter between the two fathers as well as a large pot of tea.

They started to attack their breakfasts and pour themselves cups of tea simultaneously, while Gemma was eyeing the envelopes beside the children's locations. As he started discretely reaching in the general direction of the nearest envelope, Ranma's chopsticks appeared in the tabletop, sitting between the fingers of Gemma hand.

"Old man, if you want to get any older, don't even think of trying to look at those pictures. Nibiki gave them to just the four of us. There are no more copies and the originals were destroyed. Remember what Kasumi said last night before you left? This is part of that." His voice was a gentle conversational tone but had a steel lining, sharp as a katana.

"Boy! What are you thinking? That I was reaching for those envelopes? Shoot, Boy! I was just reaching for the salt."

"Which is where it usually is, on the other side of the table; so paws off, old man!"

"I'm cut to the quick, that you'd not trust your own father, and then insult him about his curse!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yada, yada, yada. So, while you've been trading insults with me Suon-san's eaten your breakfast."

"What?!" Gemma looked over and saw that Suon had effectively cleared the plate, leaving less than a tenth of the original contents that Kasumi had brought out. He sighed and pulled his hand out from around the chopsticks and moved what little remained of the platter's contents to his plate.

Suon looked at Gemma and quirked his left eyebrow. "As Ranma-kun often says: you snooze, you lose. Looks like you indulged in too much sake last night and it's muddled your brain and slowed your reflexes." He picked up his morning newspaper and started reading it.

Gemma grumbled while shoveling food into his mouth.

Ranma stood up and bowed to the fathers, then picked up his and Akane's envelopes, then reached to help Akane to her feet. "We have to get ready for school, and these pictures will be going into Nibiki's room for now."

Nibiki stood up. "I'm going to get ready as well, and I'll be taking Kasumi's picture with me."

Both fathers mumbled and nodded their heads, knowing what would happen if they tried creeping in to Nibiki's room.

Akane stopped and turned towards the dining table.

"Father. Sorry to disturb you, but I'm going to need your input on some things that I need to look in to."

Suon mumbled what sounded like a platitude from behind his newspaper, and Akane blinked the eye closest to Ranma and continued.

"Daddy? Can I... uh... Can Ranma and I talk to you about... Uh... about female things?"

Suon humph and nodded his head, then rattled his newspaper and started reading from it, seemingly oblivious to the young people's discomfort, and Gemma's attempts to reclaim his portion of breakfast and being stymied by Suon shifting his paper to better read an article and blocking direct approaches to his plate.

Akane drew a deep breath and started in. "Uh, Daddy. It's like this. Last night, we discussed something that happened last week that upset the chi of this house. Well, upset it more than normal. It turns out that the root cause of it is that Ranma is fighting his curse, and..."

Gemma's head shot up. "And rightfully, he should be doing that! He's a man amongst men and doesn't need to deal with female things!"

Akane glared at him and "accidentally" whacked him in the forehead with her chopsticks, using the pretext of picking them up to get some pickles from the dish in front of her and losing her grip. "Actually, while that attitude is true, you and Ranma are going to have your curses for quite some time, and it turns out that fighting the curse just makes it more difficult to manage. Miss Misuzu and us had done some talking and think that the better approach might be to learn how to be comfortable in the 'cursed form' (finger wiggles putting quotes around the words) so that ... so that... so that if a situation arose where you were required to be in that form for an extended period of time or for a specific purpose, or even in combat, you were aware and capable of the correct behaviour and balance that that form would need that differs from your male forms."

Gemma grunted. Suon lowered his paper and looked at his old friend. "She's right, an unfamiliar weapon is more of a liability than is one that is well-practiced-with and you know its capabilities."

Gemma looked up and grunted again. "OK, I'll concede the point. Ranma needs to do more training but in his cursed form, starting today and in addition to his normal training routine."

Akane stole a quick glance at Ranma and saw that he'd blanched as much as she had.

"I don't think that just martial arts training is entirely relevant in this situation. This is more social and body consciousness - knowing all the fine movements and how the body 'wears'. I mean..."

Suon looked at Akane intently, then at his old friend, who was casually stuffing his face with the remaining breakfast items on the table. "So, daughter, you mean something like things that you would know and do as you had been born and raised as a female?"

Gemma blanched and then went purple in indignation.

Akane nodded rapidly. "Yes Father, that's pretty much it. If Ranma has to be female for an extended period of time, he'd eventually get found out, and then a foe could take advantage of that fact to beat Ranma. We wouldn't want that, would we, Gemma?"

Gemma swallowed his mouthful and then considered Akane's statement. "You do have a point, Akane. But how extensive would this training be?"

Akane stroked her chin. "Certainly not all the time, but certainly long enough every day so that it all becomes as familiar as a favourite shirt. Last week, Ranma got stressed when he took a soak in the furo and the water was cold enough to trigger the change. In dealing with the stress, he caused more problems that affected him until last night, when my sisters and I had a long discussion with him and found what was bothering him. If he'd been comfortable and could deal with relieving stress while in his female form, the last week's events would have really happened as they did and we wouldn't have had to have the meeting last night."

Gemma pounced on the word 'stress'. "Ranma, stressed? He's used to stress, every day of his life, he's been under stress."

"Yes, Uncle. But he was in his female form and relieving stress in that body is completely different than when he's male. Stress builds and can limit performance, even to the point where relief is impossible. Not asking for him to become ultra-girlie or anything like that. Ranma will always be Ranma, but he needs to know how to recognize and relieve stress while in his female form."

Gemma pondered, obviously confused. Suon went back to reading his newspaper, seemingly unconcerned about the conversation.

"So, what is it going to take to have Ranma handle his 'female stresses'?"

"Not much, Uncle. Kasumi, Nibiki, and I were talking about this and believe that time spent completely female and getting some items as well. Maybe a couple/three hours over the week and maybe either Saturday or Sunday. We did find that Ranma in his female form still prefers girls, so we were thinking about how to help him in that aspect, as he expressed a desire for a sense of fullness when relieving stresses."

Gemma looked sharply at Ranma. "You OK with this, Boy? What would you mother think if she saw you as a girl?"

Ranma nodded slowly, obviously thinking of where Akane was taking the conversation. "I agree in principle. I think that she'd not be happy if I was ruled by my curse and could not handle it properly. Certainly, being able to convince her that I was doing the proper thing and that, while not absolutely manly in many aspects, convincing her that the contract, as it was originally written did not take into account getting a Jusenko curse, was being abided with in spirit and intent. Blending into the background and behaving as a proper young lady should would be a smaller mark against me than one where I acted in a manner totally masculine and drew unwanted attention to myself."

Gemma seemed to think and agree with Ranma's opinion. "Boy, I'll leave that task to you. If you can convince Nadoka to allow this... One question: what is this fullness that Akane mentioned."

Akane coughed, not expecting him to snag that word. "I mean, that sometimes stress relief sometimes requires physical means. Ranma was describing what he was doing when he was meditating in the furo last week and that was his interpretation of what his body was feeling at the time. Nibiki did make one suggestion and it would take some investigation and possibly getting one of the single-shot curses from Cologne..."

Gemma shuddered at that name's mention. "As bad as that? Watch out for her, Boy! She'll trap you into marrying Shampoo if you don't watch out! Any particular curse were you thinking of, Akane? Would you use this on Ranma?"

"No, Uncle, I figure that using a temporary curse on top of a permanent one might just make the second one get added to the first one and be permanent. No, it'd be one of us - Kasumi, Nibiki or me, initially. Just to see if the single-use works and would become a part of the regular training regimen. Probably me, as we could then spar and work on Ranma's martial arts skills as well."

Ranma gave a bit of a snicker at this point and his father quirked an eyebrow in his direction. "Sorry, Father. Just a random thought triggered by what Akane said. Just realized that there was a second interpretation of what she'd said and not what she'd meant." He forced a serious expression on his face and nodded to Akane.

Akane nodded back. "We are looking to see if she had a particular curse ... " She started wiggling her fingers nervously, then clenched her hands into fists. "The Pond of the Drowned Futanari!"

"Nani!?" went Gemma, looking at Suon with a quizical look.

Suon looked over the top of his paper at his old friend. "you mean that you don't know what a futunari is?"

Gemma shrugged and looked away, with a bit of a pout. Ranma and Akane snickered and looked at each other then schooled their expressions to ones of quiet interest.

Suon leaned over and whispered quietly in Gemma's closest ear.

"NANI?", Gemma squawked. "They have...How...how... big?"

Suon put down his paper and held his hands about eighteen inches apart "So long, and ", shifting his hands to form a circle about five inches in diameter, "so big. Of course, they can get larger, much larger."

Gemma's eyes bulged out of their orbits and then rolled back into his head. He collapsed backwards from the table and groaned all the way to the floor, then went quiet. A veritable volcano of blood came out of his nose.

"Well," said Suon as he regarded his daughter and future son-in-law. "He seemed to take that quite well."

Akane's and Ranma's jaws dropped. Suon smirked.

"Your sister, Nibiki, got me earlier, and Kasumi tried after that. Seems to be a pretty important item for everyone here, since all three of you tried bringing it to my attention. Are you asking for my opinion or just my permission to proceed, though I'm curious where the futunari reference came from."

Everyone still conscious, including Suon, turned their heads and regarded Nibiki.

She placed her hand over her heart. "Moi? Why would anyone think that of me? OK, OK, I did raise it but Ranma was going on about he, or rather Ranko, preferring girls but wanted that feeling of fullness. Which eliminated every male within Nerima's boundaries; and then I had this stupid flash when I thought of the only thing that could actually meet Ranko's specifications, and the word dribbled out before I could censor it. Well, things wend downhill from there, especially when I dragged out my tablet and showed everyone else some pictures from the Internet. Then we started to think about what your reactions would be if we brought this up, and then we all got giggly... and ... and ... It looks like we all decided to ask the question. What do you think?"

Suon rubbed his chin, then folded his paper and put it down beside him. Suon looked down, and then up at his daughters and Ranma. "There's a lot that I'd like to say as yhour father and head of the household about morals and honour and keeping the peace of the household. However, you're all adults or close enough that you can make your own decisions without being second-guessed by your elders. What I do want you to di is to think about is whether or not this is something that you really want to do, will not negatively impact the peace of this house (or at least more than it already is), and will not cause even more of a bride wars or fiance wars or whatever you want to call it. Whatever decisions you make, they need to be made as a group, not as individuals. Having said that, it's a strange coincidence but my last session with council had an application for a new store, and they are apparently offering discounts for women coming in and buying items as their opening special."

With this, he reached into his gi and pulled out a business card and placed it in front of Nibiki. Nibiki picked up the card, scanned it and tucked into her blouse pocket and nodded to her father. "Looks like the type of store that we were thinking of. We'll approach Shampoo and Cologne and get their opinion about the single-use curse."

Suon nodded and said, "If you are serious about helping Ranma and not just pulling his chain, be sure to include all of the other fiances in your shenanigans and any discussions on the matter. Not including them will be more expensive in the long run and will start ramping up the fiance wars again. Since Miss Misuzu has become involved, the chaos has scaled way back, and everyone has been behaving themselves and acting in a manner that's at least acceptable if not respectable."

The foursome nodded and looked serious but no one raised any objections or comments.

"Good! Now that that matter has been decided, you'd better get on with your days. I've got to get ready for another council meeting and need to start taking that position seriously. With Nibiki cutting back on her photographic income, everyone else needs to step forward and contribute their fair share, and that includes me. Gemma, old boy, have you finished your breakfast? It's long past time for you to find a paying job. There's a couple openings for security guards with the council, and I can get you in the door, but you're going to have to actually get the job."

With that, Suon stood up and tucked his newspaper under his arm, and then reached down and dragged Gemma to his feet and pushed him towards the stairs.

The foursome looked at each other, eyebrows raised and mentally asking each other, "Did they just agree for us to go shopping for THOSE?"


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Notes:

All anime/manga characters are copyright the relevant owners.

OCs are my own invention, though they may be influenced by OCs from other series.

Strictly intended for the amusement of the reader and is not for distribution on any other media or medium.

Reviews and pm's are welcome. Anonymous/trollings will be treated accordingly and may be held up for ridicule by the reading community. Just got three and they all went into the trash. If you aren't going to put your name to your review, don't expect to see it reach the light of day. So there, NYAH! Actually to that anonymous poster, you'd better read all of my author's notes for this and the other stories - I do not follow canon, I mispell names all over the place, and if you don't like it, to quote Angus McBile: "Get stuffed!"

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

This chapter is MATURE, due to the nature of events. If you are underage or are offended by imagery and language, please do not read this chapter. If you decide to read it anyways and your parents catch you, don't said that I didn't warn you.

_**-oooo-oooo-oooo-oooo**_

_**Kuno and the Hentai Horde encounter the Ninja Futunari Technique**_

Ranma and Akane were taking their usual route to school and were surprised to be accompanied by Nibiki. Ranma dropped down and slid into a wingman position on the other side of Akane.

Akane looked at her sister. "You're serious about cutting off Kuno and everyone else who've been buying pictures of us, aren't you?"

Nibiki nodded. "Just have to figure out a way of getting through to Kuno-Baby that I am serious and that this is not 'an infernal enchantment by the Dark Magician Ranma Saotome to keep the Proud Tigress and the Pigtailed Girl to himself and not with their true love.'" Akane and Ranma shuddered to hear Kuno's words and tone of speech being perfectly mimicked.

Ranma looked around Akane at Nibiki. "Maybe we're over-thinking things and trying to outwit the blockhead. He's so dense that nothing phases him and gets through his mental outlook. Let's tackle what he considers his strengths and maybe we can come up with a cunning plan that's simple, obviously fake to anyone else, and totally accepted by him. Too late to call Kodachi and ask her, but then, she has always just let her brother rattle along and only waylaid him when he gets in her way."

Akane snickered. "Or when he waylays her while she's in the shower with his latest plan to free me and the Pigtailed Girl from your fiendish clutches. Totally oblivious to anything else in the universe like good manners and respecting other people's privacy."

Nibiki snickered. "Hadn't heard that before but that's totally Kuno-kun for you. The only real world item that he pays attention to is his masculinity and its effect on women, or at least what he thinks they should be behaving like. Now, if we could chase him and make him think that we were gay or something, he'd disappear like a bat out of hatch-eeee-double-hockey-sticks. But overcoming his delusions at the same time would take something more than us just acting gay."

Akane chimed in "Yeah, and acting like we were a pair of lesbians wouldn't do it. He'd probably go 'I can reform you and have you worship me at my feet in payment for freeing you from your foul bondage.'" Her Kuno imitation was almost as good as her sister's.

Ranma had the beginnings of a cunning plan creep into his mind. "Speaking of which, it would have to be something physical that he could touch and would prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt."

Nibiki looked off into the distance. "What, like we'd suddenly become futunari?"

Akane dope-slapped her sister gently. "Is that all you have on your mind lately? I thought that Ranma was the pervert, but I think you'd be going on and on and on about this until you actually had a 'futunari' experience."

She gave a shudder and spoke again. "Maybe, just maybe... Nah, wouldn't work, they'd have to look real and be warm and twitch like the real things."

Nibiki looked at her sister. "And how would you know about 'look real and be warm and twitch like the real things'? Every time you got a gander of any naked male in any state, you were dragging out the mallet and giving them what-for for being a pervert."

Akane sniffed. "Well, since Ranma's been seeing Miss Misuzu, things have quietened down and our furo encounters have gotten to more like 'here's your towel. Can't you remember to hang the occupied sign before you use the furo?' And before you snicker, the last time, I was in the furo and Ranma walked in. My bad on that one."

Ranma stuck a finger in the air and looked at the two girls. "I think that I may have a ninja technique that we could use. Sasuke and Konatsu have been showing me the Ninja Log Deception trick, and I've been working on it and figured out how to apply it to smaller objects and multiple ones at the same time. No, not a regular log but really anything that has the right size and shape that I need to use, add a glamour to make it look like and have a bit of movement at the right times... Kuno-Baka's got to be looking at this for twenty seconds tops, and if I run a time delay between multiple objects, he might not see that they are looped and repeating things. Maybe add a random factor and have three or more actual items. Yeah, might work but it could backfire big time if it fails."

The two looked at Ranma as asked simultaneously "What are you talking about?"

"What's the big and obvious difference between a regular girl and a Futunari? Yeah, THAT and THOSE. You two get a set under your skirts and I get a set in my pants while I'm Ranko. Kuno-Baka comes charging up, gets an eyeful of what looks like THAT and THOSE, plus we load up on it sounding like we'd like to do SOMETHING to him. Want to bet that his brain fries, resets to a normal heterosexual male setting and goes 'ewwwww!', and he bails like a cat with dogs after it."

He smirked at the two and said "Well, enough of a surprise that it might work?"

Nibiki's brain reset faster than Akane's "And how do you propose to give us THAT and THOSE? Short of a Jusenko curse, that is."

"Doesn't have to be something realistic. We'd need some knee-socks and kitty litter for filler, then add the necessary stiffness and shape, and toss in the glamour. Look, we're coming up on a corner store, let me go in and we can try setting things up. If it doesn't work, we'll still be in time for the bell and can do our usual knock-down approach and try something later. Whaddya say?"

\- Twenty minutes later, just inside of the school gates. -

Nibiki and Akane were trying to adjust their skirts to hide the obvious bulges under them.

Nibiki moaned "I can't believe that you talked us into giving this a try. Now, this is trying to push everything up and everyone's starting to notice it, and..."

Ranma-as-Ranko blinked an eye and produced a couple of shoelaces. "Give me a minute and you'll be all hidden until The Big Reveal. Pull the string bit sticking out from under the skirt, give things a lift and Kuno-Baka gets an eyeful of what he really won't want to be seeing."

Without waiting for them to answer, he went into Chestnuts Roasting mode, flipped up their skirts, tied down the offending items and pushed the skirts back into position before they could react. "There! All done and the string is in your left hand, ready for the tug. And here comes Kuno-Baka, right on time!"

Kuno was actually leading the Hentai Horde from the rear. Ranko dashed through the Horde, deftly shouldering, straight-arming and hip-haunching anyone who stood in the direct line to Kuno. The flying bodies fell into their neighbours, effectively opening a very wide pathway for Nibiki and Akane to follow in, moving at a quick jog while keeping their skirts pushed down in position while hanging unto their strings.

Before Kuno could do more than goggle at the Pigtailed Girl being so forward and noticing the very strange bulge in her pants as well as the Tendo sisters actually approaching, seeming to be covering some very suspicious bulges under their skirts, when Ranko launched into her spiel.

"Oh, noble and generous Kuno-senpai, we need your help in using your immense masculinity and manhood to help us in our distress!"

Kuno puffed himself up and struck a heroic pose with his bokken draped over his right shoulder. "The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High is always willing to rescue the Fair Pigtailed Girl and the even fairer Fierce Tigress in their distress. Has the Evil Magician Ranma Saotome enchanted you ... Three!? Even the less-fair-but-ever-mercenary Nibiki Tendo."

Nibiki stepped forward, pushing down hard on the strange bulge under her dress. "Stop blathering for once and listen to us, Kuno-Baby. If you can't help us, you're going to get cut off from you supply of Ranko and Akane pictures, PERMANENTLY!"

Kuno looked at her and processed what Nibiki had said, nodded and went "Hai!", assuming another strong position but definitely in a listening attitude. "You all have my undivided attention. Speak and I will act on your requests."

Akane stepped forward, also pushing down on her bugling skirt. "It's like this, Kuno-senpai. Our fathers tried to cheat a god on a bet, and they got cursed to be the fathers of girls with... With... With extra equipment!" The bulges under the skirts and Ranko's pants gave a twitch, which strangely enough did not pass unnoticed by Kuno as well as the members of the Hentai Horde, who now stood closely around and watched the proceedings.

Nibiki chimed in with the next section of the tale of woe that they were weaving. "Fortunately, our fathers knew a couple of angels who came up with a solution, though at a price in that they had to marry the angels. The solution was that the girls were magically blessed to not have the...the...the extra equipment but to be the same as all regular girls, only just a bit more beautiful than any others."

Kuno shifted his positon, straightened up, crossed his arms (keeping the boken drapped over the left shoulder now), and glowered at them. "I can see the beauty that they granted you, but how does the evil Ranma Saotome relate to your angelic blessings?"

Ranko went into his full-cute-girlie-girlie mode (usually reserved for wheedling extra sundaes and parfaits), tucked his hands up under his chin (and squishing her breasts for maximum effect). "This is what Ranma did today. He put us under a glamour to make us less beautiful and to have us become his lovers and hand-maidens. He failed miserably, thanks to one of the benefits of our angelic blessing in that really foul, evil magics will not stick to us permanently. By the time we recovered, he had us wearing satin maid uniforms that were more like hentai sailor moon fuku sera. We immediately punished the foul dark magician and had him reverse his spell. What we didn't know was that our angelic blessing wasn't just our beauty but also magically disguised our... Our... Our extra equipment. Needless to say, Ranma's now been hammered to within an inch of his life, three times over. But he survived long enough to tell us how to restore our angelic blessing to its full scope and make us not only the most beautiful students at Furinkan High School but also to disguise the curses bestowed on us by our fathers trying to cheat a god on a small bet."

Kuno reached out and gently rubbed the top of Ranko's head. Ranko summed all of her strength and struggled to keep from punching Kuno into Low Earth Orbit as he orated, "Speak the words and if it is within my power to grant, I will do whatever you need to have yourselves restored forthwith."

The Hentai Horde nodded, assumed expressions of sympathy, and muttered words of encouragement to Kuno for his willingness to make such a grand gesture.

Ranko spiked the expression of glee, blushed totally red, and looked down at her toes, then up through her bangs. "It's really embarrassing, but the key to restoring the angelic blessing is for you to make wild passionate love to the three of us, right here, right now. This can't be delayed and must take place under the open skies. Even a delay of five minutes or stepping inside any building will destroy the angelic blessing beyond all recovery and we'll be stuck like this for all time. Even our spirits won't be safe from that. We'll be stuck forever with our ... Our... Our extra equipment and our descendants will suffer the same fate with no hope."

Sobs and woeful looks came on the faces of Nibiki and Akane as they waited for Kuno's response.

He straightened, pushed his bokken into his belt and raised his head to glare at the Hentai Horde. "Men! This is the moment of your lives. Generations will sing odes to your gesture of sacrifice for the dignity and virtue of these three fair maidens who have suffered at the hands of the Dread Evil Magician Ranma Saotome. Turn around and hold your positions until the deed has been done! Pay no attention to the sounds that you hear, for this is for the three fair maidens and the honour of Furinkan High School! Now, TURN!"

To a man, the entire Hentai Horde as well as those in the schoolyard watching, straightened, put on resolute faces and turned away from the foursome. The three girls looked at each other and shrugged, amazed that Kuno could actually command such respect and obedience from his fellow students.

"Thank you, Kuno-Senpai. You won't regret this," said the three ladies.

Kunos started to loosen his Kendogi and untie his hakama when Ranko placed her hand on his chest. "One moment, Kuno-senpai. It's not your equipment that will be being used, but our ... Our... Our extra equipment."

With that, Nibiki and Akane tugged their strings and gave a lift to the front of their skirts while Ranko dropped her trousers.

Kuno stood still and only his eyes shifted, flitting from one girl to the next, his brain mentally comparing their dimensions to his own, and a sense of inescapable inferiority came upon him, matching Ryoga's sense of despair at its worst. Made all the worse by the obvious erections and twitchings as if to a giant heartbeat.

"W-w-w-with t-t-t-tth-th-those?!"

Ranko smiled, a predatory, ferocious smile. "Just like they say in the US Navy: BOHICA - Bend over, here it comes again. Time for you to brace yourself, Kendo-senpai."

With that, Kuno was spun around and his hakama whipped down around his ankles and his upper body pushed over ninety degrees. Better grab your ankles and brace youself, I'll go first because I'm the smallest. Then Akane and then Nibiki, because she's Big Sister, and I mean BIG. This won't hurt, much."

It finally got through to Kuno that he was about to get screwed in more than one sense of the word and that there was nothing that he could do about it and its implications. With a moan better suited to an elephant dying, he collapsed unto his knees and shook and shuddered.

The last bell for classes started to ring. Ranko looked at Akane and Nibiki. "Time to get to class, like NOW!"

With that, Akane and Ranko did a rapid adjustment to their clothes and dashed for the front doors. Nibiki stepped up beside Kuno, letting him get an additional eyeful of her extra equipment, setting off more moans and cries, with tears flowing down his face. Reaching down, she patted him on the shoulder. Looks like we're going to get stuck with the extra equipment, Kuno-Baby. Also, what we said about you being cut off from pictures of Ranko and Akane is also true. . , PERMANENTLY! Oh yes, in case, it has never gotten through that thick skull of yours: Ranma is not some evil magician. He is Ranko, though. Have a nice day, Kuno-Baby."

She then stepped beyond him, shifted her skirt into positon, even with the bulge showing, and walked into the school.


	9. Chapter 9

Notes:

All anime/manga characters are copyright the relevant owners.

OCs are my own invention, though they may be influenced by OCs from other series. The only exceptions are the four OCs that I borrowed from Skystrider's Ranma series, simply because I admire their take-no-crap to dealing with liars and cheats.

Strictly intended for the amusement of the reader and is not for distribution on any other media or medium.

Personal note: the muse has been not only priming me but over-pressuring the fuel tank. In two days, I've ground out two chapters. Probably time to shift to working some more on the Railgun series, then coming back to (at long last) adding the Academy City/Railgun portion of the crossover. BTW, Kamijou Misuzu is the daughter of Touma and the Railgun.

_**-oooo-oooo-oooo-oooo**_

_**Lunch with the Girls and One Aquagendered Male**_

As Ranko, Akane, Nibiki, Ukyo, and Kodachi exited the classroom, they spotted the police, Judge Sanu and Kuno-sama standing off to the side of the hallway, having a deep conversation. When Sargent Imia spotted them, they stopped as he drew everyone else's attention to their presence. Heads were shaken and the Sargent waved them away, then gave them the my-eyes-are-on-you gesture. Everyone waved and started down towards the cafeteria, then stopped as Ukyo begged off as she had to run her okonomiyaki stand.

Ranko said quickly, "why don't we meet under the old cherry tree, good shade and we can spell Ukyo if she needs helps passing out her lunches?"

The other nodded. Then Ukyo dope-slapped Ranko. "You just want to get some free lunches, don't you? Speaking of free lunches, Akane gets one in celebration for hopefully finally defeating the Hentai Horde. BUT... the rest of you are going to pay full fare."

"Waaah!" went Kodachi.

"Simple, Kodachi, you just ramped up everything by not only snogging Ranko, but also doing everything but a naked lap dance. Remember the rules: do one, do all. And speaking of Ranko, she was checking out your tonsils as well. Nibiki's also paying because, while she was helping you two defeat Kuno-kun, she's been enjoying playing around with that Concealed Weapon of hers way too much to make it looks like she wasn't enjoying having... what did we hear you three saying... extra equipment."

Akane chimed in. "Speaking of which, Nibiki, I'm starting to think that Ukyo's on to something. You've been tossing around funtari way too much for it to be a passing item, plus you didn't ditch it when you had a chance. I'm willing to bet that you were using it to get everyone to pay up on their debts or bets or whatever reason they had for owing you money. Maybe you should be buying lunch for everyone today in addition to yourself."

Nibiki pulled a large wad of cash out of her skirt pocket and passed it over to Ukyo. "Akane's right, well, at least on collecting money. Take what you need for everyone to have lunch, plus yourself and Shampoo when she gets here, which should be right after you get set up. I'm willing to bet that she's got the tree bugged to detect when Ranma-baby's within ten feet of it."

Ukyo flipped through the wad, extracting a number of bills and tucking them away. "House specials for everyone! And, no, Shampoo doesn't have the tree bugged as I keep checking it on a regular basis. I'd be willing to bet (and no, this is not an invitation to run a bet with you, Nibiki!) that she's got a sniper nest set up somewhere close by. Of course, with us standing around and talking, she's got lots of time to spot us, plan accordingly and to peddle her ass to get over here and smack..."

"Airen! Darling!" came the broken Japanese of a certain purple-haired girl as her rear bicycle wheel smashed into Ranko's face, knocking her to the ground.

"Ranma in the head, right on time," finished Ukyo as she handed Nibiki the remainder of the wad and then did a one-handed catch of Shampoo's ramen container before it could upset and hit the ground. Putting the ramen container on the ground, she turned and quickly set up the okonomiyaki cooker and started the burners, then pulling her supplies from her chi-pocket as the lineup of customers started forming.

Everyone else retired towards the cherry tree and spread out to claim space. Shampoo leaned her bike against the tree, pulled a blanket from the basket and spread it with a snap, then walked over to pick up the ramen container with a smile for Ukyo and a cheeky remark "Don't need a sniper's nest, just wait for the arguments to start and I hear all of you bickering back and forth. Nyah!" and flipping Ukyo a stinky-eye as she started to turn.

"Nyah, yourself. For that, no sauce for you!" went Ukyo as she started pouring, stirring and flipping.

"And roach ramen for you!" came the glib response.

Within minutes, Ukyo had served her lineup and turned off her portable grill. She stepped back and pulled out a stack of plates from her chi-pocket and flipped the remaining still-hot okonomiyaki unto them, then squirted sauce over them, walked over to where everyone else was seated, then distributed the plates and sat down.

"Inutakimas!" went everyone as they then dug into their lunches as well as the ramen and okonomiyaki .

Ranko finally slowed down, leaned back on her elbows and gently belched then blushed at the baleful regards she got from everyone else. "Gomeneasi," she quietly said as everyone shook their heads.

Shampoo nudged Ranko's foot. "OK, lunch over. Now tell Shampoo why police are crawling all over Furinkan and why everyone is talking about Concealed Weapons and looking in your direction. Did you do something too too bad and got yourself into The Book again?"

Ranko, Akane and Nibiki blushed and twiddled their fingers as Ukyo, Kodachi and Shampoo watched.

Ukyo finally gave in. "It's something that they used to put Kuno-kun into the nurse's office in a catatonic state. I saw something going on with this morning's Hentai Horde but didn't get a good view of whatever it was until Akane and Ranko arrived just as the bells stopped ringing and then Miss Hinaki hit them with her Happo technique and she got stuck with IT." Ukyo blushed right to her hairline. "Miss Hinako fainted and she... she... had a massive THAT and THOSE up under her skirt."

Shampoo gaped and her okonomiyaki plate slid from her lap to the blanket. "Too too too much information! I heard of it and saw one warrior in village who had it but not THAT big! No, no, not mean THAT but meaning that warrior had something similar but more a normal size, like this." She quickly sketched the dimensions in the air.

The others snickered and started laughing, while Shampoo pouted and finally produced her chuis from weapon-space. "Not not funny! Xiam Pu get all tied up when trying to say it without sounding like total idiot and you laugh at her!"

Nibiki got her snickers under control. "No, no, Shampoo. We're not laughing at you but at what you were saying. Every one of us runs smack into the same wall when we try to talk about the Ninja Deception Hidden Weapon technique. Mine was 50 by 15 centimeters, so I can just imagine what monster Miss Hinako got gifted with, what say 75 by 30? How'd you like to have someone threaten you with that or suddenly find that you have one?"

Shampoo slowly put the weapons away as she considered Nibiki's words.

Nibiki launched into a detailed description of the whole event, right from inception to completion.

Shampoo then broke the silence. "You mean, that you three would have had wild sex with Kuno out in the sun with the Horde standing around admiring and admiring the clouds passing by, but then told Kuno that it was going to be his poop-chute that was going to get all the exercise?"

The three conspirators nodded, trying to hide smirks behind serious expressions. Kodachi sat gob-smacked.

Shampoo quietly asked the dreaded and anticipated question, "just how big were your... uh... extra equipment?"

Nibiki snickered and then tried to swallow and give a serious answer. "According to what Sargent Imia said, 50 by 15, but I think that he was exaggerating for effect. It was, maybe my forearm by my wrist, say 25 by 5."

Shampoo thought about it and looked at Ranko. "Say, shorty, just how big are you and how much pleasure can you give me?"

Ranko's reaction was not what Shampoo expected. She blushed and looked down, twiddled her fingers and blushed even further, then opened her mouth to speak and then shut it again. She shook her head.

The others, even Kodachi, stared at Ranko's performance. Nibiki started to quip something when Ranko pushed her forefinger unto Nibiki's lips to silence her. Taking a deep breath, Ranko blushed again and started. "I - I - I was just thinking about how that would have felt up mine... you know... up mine, down there. Like what Kasume, and Nibiki, and Akane ... and me... were talking about the other night."

Akane stepped in the silence and said, "We had a big chat with Ranma the other night about something that happened two weeks ago. This morning, we asked Dad about the same thing which later gave Ranma and Nibiki the idea of how to defeat Kuno. Dad said that we should talk to all of you and not do anything more until we had your agreement. I think that we reached that point. Can all three of you come around the Dojo about 10 o'clock tonight? Bring a change of school clothes because we may be talking for a long time and it would be easier if you slept over."

Ranko nodded and looked at the other fiances. "Please come over, it's important."


	10. Chapter 10

Author's notes…. Apologies to the canon-followers. You're right. There is no way that this story could have taken place six months after the start of the Hentai Horde. Let's let that the errors in the previous chapter slide (six months after the start of the Hentai Horde). In reality, we're probably talking at least a year, and possible two since Ranma's arrival, and definitely after the failed wedding incident from the manga.

As always, the original copyright holders retain their rights, and this is intended for the non-commercial enjoyment of the readers. Comments and reviews are always welcome, as long as they bear in mind that I am not a perfect typist, do not always get timelines right, muddle items from manga and anime without regard for canon, and have other personal quirks like my low sense of humour. I plan on staying on the ecchi side of things, but these last few entries ar definitely mature in outlook.

Speaking of ecchi, I ground out the basics of this chapter (90%) of the content in less than an hour over lunch. Remember what I said in the last chapter about my muse over-pressurizing my fuel tank...case proven.

_**\- First Slumber Party, And No Party-poopers Allowed -**_

Kasumi was placing the snacks and beverages tray down in the corner of the Dojo, then glanced at the pile of futons and pillows.

"Akane, are you sure that we have enough?"

"Yes, Kasumi, we've got enough to feed an army, let alone the eight of us. I've also made sure that the remaining men-folk have theirs and they took oaths not to peek or try listening in. That embarrassing?"

"Some of it is, and then Ranko's going ballistic from worrying herself silly. You'd think that she was having her mother drop by."

Kasumi smiled. "Maybe, she's trying to finally adjust to her condition and over-reacting just a bit."

Akane smiled back. "Yes just a bit. We're just getting to see all of her first-times in one week, that's all."

Kasumi left, aiming for her kitchen and to make sure that the men-folk were so well-fed that they were not even capable of being tempted to think about wandering out to the dojo.

Akane rearranged the futons and the pillows once again, moving them from being spread out to two large piles facing each other back to being spread out. "Even I'm doing it now!", she wailed quietly as she piled the futons and launched herself on top of the pile.

"Looks like someone's having too too much fun," came the lilting tones of the purple-haired ramen delivery girl from the doorway. Kicking off her shoes, and finding a pair of slippers to fit, she picked up the containers beside her and stepped into the Dojo, bowing toward the family shrine before crossing over to where the snacks were and unloading the container. "Great-grandmother insisted that I bring something along. Don't worry, I told her about lunchtime and she said that this is very important for Airen and to not be the air-headed husband hunter. Not sure what she talking about, Xian Pu never air-headed."

Before Akane could think of a comeback to that statement, the doors slid open again, admitting Ukyo and Kodachi as well as their ninja servants, all bearing loads of treats and drinks. Repeating their bows to the shrine, they also off loaded and the ninjas departed to take up guard duty on the roof of the Dojo.

Ukyo nudged Shampoo and quipped, "No one who knows you can ever say that you're air-headed, Shampoo, but I agree with Cologne. Tonight's too important to Ranma to not behave ourselves. Having said that, nothing's been said about not having fun. Hey, Akane! That pile of futons as comfortable as it looks?"

Without giving a hint, Ukyo whipped out her combat spatula, scooped Shampoo up and tossed her up unto the pile and face-to-face on top of Akane. She then followed by leaping unto the pile as well. Kodachi looked at the tangled pile of futons and girls, and sniffed in disdain.

"Big mistake, psycho girl!" squawked Shampoo as she levered Akane and Ukyo off of her and launched herself at Kodachi, swinging a pillow. "Die the death of ten thousand feathers!"

Kodachi dropped into a crouch under Shampoo's swing and did a leg sweep to both make Shampoo jump and to snag a loose pillow lying at the foot of the futon pile.

"Die the never-ending death of polyster foam, you hussy!" came the screeched retort, and the fight was on.

Akane and Ukyo slid to the bottom of the pile and watched as the two traded insults, exaggerated martial arts claims and pillow swats while moving all over the floor, walls and ceiling of the Dojo, avoiding the area in the corner with the tables of treats and the futons.

Within a couple minutes, the two protagonists wound down and flopped down on either side of the other two, drawing deep breaths and smirking at the others.

Shampoo finally got her breath back enough and chuckled, "Airen right! Open mouth to insult enemy and loose battle when you run out of air."

Kodachi gently tossed her pillow unto Shampoo's face. "Darling Ramna! He's so advanced that he can do both, move body and mouth at the same time. Do you think that we can take him when he arrives?"

"Too late for the surprise factor," came Nibiki's voice from the door as she stepped in and Ranko and Misuzu followed her. "Though I must say. Six months ago, the dojo would have been wrecked and there would have been bodies and blood everywhere. Of course, I wouldn't have had the pleasure of billing you all for the damages and repairs, plus a little bit on the side for myself…." Whatever else she was about to say disappeared behind a barrage of pillows, all aimed for her face.

Misuzu looked at Ranko. "They like this all the time now?"

"Mostly. Every once in a while they go all out and show that they're not out of shape. Usually some dojo breaker or wanna-be martial artist looking to make a name for themselves. Toss in the occasional rapist or criminal activity, but generally, pretty quiet." Ranko smirked as she scooped up four pillows from Nibiki and tossed them back at the girls, who caught them and smirked back and gave him the stinky-eye simultaneously.

\- Ten minutes go by while Kasumi comes back and everyone gets settled and have drinks and snacks. -

Misuzu started the ball rolling. "OK, I got a call from Ranko today and it looks like a lot has happened since our last session. Guess that's what you get when you go away for a conference and trust you lot to actually have everything under control." Pillows flew for her but Misuzu dropped, rolled and stood up out of the line of fire, then resumed her seat, giving the stinky-eye to everyone.

She resumed. "Why don't we go back two weeks and start from there? That is, unless something happened before then that bears on today's events? Kasumi, Nibiki, before we get started, I have to tell you of the basic rules: everything said and heard today is totally private; nothing gets repeated without everyone else's permission. Also, if you're going to point a finger at someone and make an accusation, you'd better point the finger at yourself and say why the other person affects you when they do whatever they are doing. Any problems with those rules, shaking your heads mean no, you have no issues."

Kasumi and Nibiki both shook their heads and said "No, I have no issues with those rules." And smiled at everyone else.

Misuzu continue, "Fine. Who wants to lead off, and it better not be Ranko or we'll be here for weeks."

\- Two hours goes by, with conversation, snacking, drinks, plus washroom breaks. -

"OK, you've all been talking about the Ninja Deception Concealed Weapon technique, and getting all embarrassed about talking about it. What exactly does it look like?", Misuzu leaned forward to place her tea cup in front of her.

Ranko rubbed the back of her head and laughed faintly. Akane looked at him sharply.

"Oh, don't tell me, you didn't get rid of them when you took them off of Miss Hinako and deactivated them, didn't you?"

Ranko hand-clapped and bowed towards her. "Gomenesai. Makoto ni moushiwake gozaimasen deshita." (1)

"Waah! What were you thinking of doing with that…. " Akane wound down as the thought occurred to her what Ranko might want to do with it. By reflex action, her mallet appeared out of weapon-space and dropped into her hand. Looking at the mallet, she thought about what she really wanted to do while Ranko quailed.

Putting the mallet back in weapon-space, she looked at Ranko. "OK, that's just plain nasty. If you're thinking about THIS AND THAT, you'd better talk to Nibiki and Kasumi about using the business card that Dad gave us and get something proper rather than going off half-cocked… Oh, crap! Now, I've got a mind-worm and every sentence is going to be about THIS AND THAT and THOSE. Waah!"

Misuzu smiled as she watched the by-play and the quizzical expressions of Ranko's other fiances. She quietly interjected, "Ranko, you might as well show us what this is all about, neh?"

Ranko nodded and reached into his own chi pocket and pulled out the one that he'd been wearing, and placed it in front of himself where everyone could see it. "This one's mine," she said just in case anyone might ask, based upon Akane's reaction to the fact of their existence.

Ukyo, Shampoo and Kodachi leaned forward to get a good view, and then looked up at Ranma. Shampoo beat everyone else to the punch with "And that's the big secret? Look like a couple of knee-socks filled with.." and she poked it and shuddered… "kitty-litter from the feel."

Ranko sighed. "Let me turn it on and you'll see the difference." She reached out and tapped the socks and muttered a few words, deliberately soft and slurred to prevent anyone from hearing what he was saying. The socks twitched and took on a different appearance, swelling in size and texture.

Kodachi leaned forward. "Oh my. I really wasn't paying close attention when Nibiki brought out hers. Too busy giving Ranko fan service, I guess. Nibiki's was larger, by about a third if her description was accurate. Not that I'm saying you were exaggerating, Nibiki, but…. Oh crap, Akane, I've now got your mind-worm. Just shoot me before I start talking like my brother or worse, because I'm jealous! Oh, double-crap! I didn't mean to say that but I'm not sorry that I did. Something like that would make one heck of a toy if you could figure out how to mass-manufacture it and have it staying sanitary… oh, triple-crap! Just forget what I just said, the whole thing!" She blushed and looked away, at anything but what was wriggling on the floor in front of Ranko.

Shampoo reached out and picked it up and watched as it reacted to her touch, then put it back down. "Very good technique, Ranko. Anything that can turn Kodachi into a blushing virgin …." Whatever she was going to say was swallowed by the impact of a small pillow with her lower face. Shampoo pulled the pillow down and smirked at Kodachi. "Case proven, psycho girl," she quipped as she put the pillow down beside her. "Ukyo, you want to have a try?"

Ukyo twitched and shook her head. "Wouldn't mind trying it for real," she muttered to herself, and then realized that she'd spoken it aloud. Waving her hands back and forth, she scrambled for a coherent thought and then gave up and sighed. "OK, this has got me going all weird. Just had a flash of what such a weapon would do to me, and what it would feel like to use such a thing on someone else." Glancing at Ranko, she whispered "Probably a bit like what you're thinking and feeling right now, right?"

Ranko nodded. "Yeah. That's what's got me all worked up and twisting in the wind. I totally like girls and have no intention of doing THIS and THAT with a guy, but here I sit and wonder what it would feel like if I was a girl."

Nibiki put a finger into the air. "Shampoo mentioned something earlier, about one of her fellow Amazons having 'extra equipment'. Shampoo, was that person born that way or did they pick up a Jusenkyo curse at some point?"

Shampoo replied, "curse," and then stopped and thought for a moment. "You aren't thinking that Great-grandmother might have some instant …..?"

Nibiki smiled, trying hard not to make it look like a smirk. "Well, it certainly would fit within Ranko's general requirements ….. "

Ranko squawked. "No! No! Absolutely Not! That's totally gay!"

Nibiki now smirked. "Please explain the logic behind that, Ranko. We'd have one willie and two? vaginas when you're Ranko; and one willie and one vagina when you're Ranma. Only difference is that one of the vaginas in both situations got splashed with instant Jusenkyo curse. You afraid that you'd like IT that way so much that you'd stay Ranko all the time? I have the feeling that there are at least four people here today who'd beg to differ, considering how hard they've been trying to get into your pants over the years and have seen your reaction to them. OR is this your Dad speaking? Remember that Japan no longer has laws that forbid what takes place between two consenting people beyond the age of consent and we're all past that point."

Ranko hung her head, and Nibiki walked over and hugged her. "OK, I know that I'm pushing, but we have to be sure of what you want before we can proceed. But I think the consensus around here is that the use of the Ninja Deception Concealed Weapon technique as it currently is will be out of the equation. Which leaves us with vibrators or the instant curse for the time being."

Shampoo raised her hand, looking like a schoolgirl trying to get the teacher's attention. "Xian Pu have suggestion. Let me talk to Great Grandmother and see if she does have the instant curse or has to order it, and if there are any problems using it on people with a permanent curse. I must say that I'm curious. While I'd like my first time to be with Ranma, I admit that curious about how Ranko would be like, either yori or using the curse."

The others blushed and nodded, muttering "me, too!" then realized that they'd spoken aloud and blushed even deeper.

_**\- Next morning, and you thought that I'd go totally hentai with the slumber party. Nyaa – and stinky-eye to you! -**_

Ranma dragged himself out of the furo and dried off. Standing in front of the mirror, he pulled on his yakuta and combed his hair into a presentable form then tied up his pigtail with the remnants of the dragon's whisker. Nodding to himself, he gathered his clothes and stepped out into the hallway and headed for the dining room.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him. He looked back, weighing his options as to where he could sit that would cause the least discord. Kasumi patted the open space beside her and Ranma dropped into it, smiling at everyone else. With the exception of Nibiki and Miss Misuzu, no one looked particular happy at this turn of events.

"Arigato, Kasumi," he spoke quietly and reached for his chopsticks. "Inatakimas!" he intoned and everyone followed suit.

Breakfast started but everyone was quieter than what would be normally expected.

Misuzu decided to break the log-jam and asked, "what is everyone's plans for today? I know that you have school this morning, and Ukyo and Shampoo have their jobs at noon, but what about this afternoon? Didn't Nibiki have something about a business card that needed being used?"

The Tendo sisters and Ranma went red and looked down, and the other fiances looked over. Ukyo got in first, "oh yes, the card that Tendo-san had given you for that new store. Is it something that everyone else would be interested in and is everyone else invited?"

Nibiki nodded. "It's currently open by invitation only and groups over four need a reservation."

The other fiances and Misuzu leaned forward. Ukyo took the lead on this one again, "and just what are they selling? Dresses, jewelry, shoes, undergarments?"

Nibiki decided that a sharp, quick death was preferable to the death of a thousand questions. "It's adult toys, clothing and accessories for women. We'd been yanking Father's and Uncle Genma's chains about 'female stress relief' for Ranko and getting instant curse packages from Cologne, when Dad pulls out the card and zings us with it. Question is, does everyone want to go if I can get an appointment for this afternoon? AND NO, RANMA, YOU DON'T GET A VOTE ON THIS AS YOU'RE GOING NO MATTER WHAT!"

Ranma pouted as everyone's hands went up with alacrity.

Author's note: (1) the phrase "Makoto ni moushiwake gozaimasen deshita." Comes from a webpage on the various levels of apology used in Japan ( ). The description for this one caught my eye and comes closest to Ranma admitting that he'd hung unto the knee-sock for less than honourable purposes. According to the website, the description of the level of apology being performed is as follows: "This phrase is mostly used by dishonoured samurai and ninja. Use this when you've fallen in love with the shogun's daughter."


	11. Chapter 11

Author's notes…. As always, the original copyright holders retain their rights, and this is intended for the non-commercial enjoyment of the readers. Comments and reviews are always welcome, as long as they bear in mind that I am not a perfect typist, do not always get timelines right, muddle items from manga and anime without regard for canon, and have other personal quirks like my low sense of humour. I plan on staying on the ecchi side of things, but these last few chapters are definitely mature in outlook.

_**\- Who used the last of the batteries? -**_

Ranma and Akane were returning form the local ginza with the groceries for dinner, and came in through the main doors and started to take their shoes off when Ranma noticed the tall thin bundle sitting in the umbrella stand. He started to shake and shudder, which got Akane's attention, and she spotted the bundle.

"Kasumi, we're back!" she called out as if nothing had happened.

"Oh, thanks for picking up the groceries. Can you put them into the kitchen and join me in the dining room. We're having some tea."

The two fiances, dreading who was in the dining room with Kasumi, walked into the kitchen and put the groceries on the counter and put away those that needed to go into the fridge, then looked at each other and then nodded, walked out and into the dining room.

"Good afternoon, Auntie Nodoka," said Akane plastering a false smile on her face.

Ranma copied the expression and went "hello, Mother."

What surprised them was the expression on Nodoka's face, actually looking happy to see them and not about to spout out about family honour, honourable activities and Ranma being 'a man amongst men'."

"Ah, it has been a while, but I finally managed to get over to see you two. Please. Sit down and let me pour you some tea and you can have some of the cakes that I brought along. Kasumi says that they won't spoil your dinner if you have just one."

By the time that they'd recovered from their shock, there was tea and a plate laden with a piece of cake in front of each of them. They used the time to have a sip of tea and a bit of the cake to recover their presence of mind and to shoot each other a quick glance followed by a small shrug.

"Ah," went Nadoka when she'd been complimented on the tea and cake. "I have a few things that I'd like to say and some others that I need to ask you about."

Another slow look went between the two fiances, saying nothing but expressing "holy carp! Here it comes."

"I had a conversation with Miss Kamijou Misuzu a couple months ago, and some of the things that we discussed were things that were very private and personal to me. She'd asked me to think about them and to consider getting some professional help to understand them. Rather than digging in my heels, I actually took her advice. With my family history of behavior, as well as my relationship with your father, Genma, I have developed what is called Obsessive Compulsive Disease or OCD. I am currently taking medication and counseling to address the issues. I have a long way to go and ask for your understanding and patience while I am on my journey."

Ranma's jaw dropped at hearing the words that he'd always thought about his mother since his return to Japan.

She nodded and bowed deeply. "No, I am not crazy, though the disease makes my behavior irrational and totally at odds with the way that I would be if I did not have OD."

Ranma stood and walked around the table and hugged his mother while she hugged him back. Akane stared at them for a while and then added her hug.

When Nodoka finally subsided and gently pushed the pair away, she smiled at them and waved them back to their original locations.

"I appreciate your gesture, even though I feel that I've done much in the past to be ashamed of. Something that I would like to address now, or at least talk about the core of our 'troubles'", reaching into her kimono and bringing out a faded document.

"Yes, the original copy of the seppuku agreement," she added even though everyone had identified it as such.

Looking across the table at her son, she said, "are you a man amongst men, and are you honorable?"

Ranko looked down in thought, then straightened up. "The document says that, but what is meant by a 'man amongst men'? What is honourable? Does it mean that I keep strictly to the definitions of the Anything Goes schools of Indiscriminate Grappling? Am I a younger copy of Genma, Soun, or Happosai; all of whom are flawed and behave in accordance with their own wishes rather than what other martial artists or the world at large would define as honourable? The document calls for me to become so, but does not state what the definition of those terms is and what is the requirement for me to successfully to meet those definitions. I mean, I believe that I am honourable in that I treat everyone that I encounter fairly or as they deserve based on how they treat others and willingly come to the aid or those weaker than me or who I call my friend, but I know that there have been times when I have not taken responsibility for my actions or my actions' effects on others. After all, I have multiple fiances and I have, until recently, not taken any action to deal with them fairly or equitably. I also have a Jusenkyo curse that I have used shamelessly to obtain what I want from others without regard for it being right or proper to do so, and which may well eliminate me from the 'man amongst men' category in its entirely. About the only thing that I can say that I have met of the requirements is having a mouth that will not turn away from a challenge or slight and an ego that matches it."

"Since you've met Miss Misuzu, you know that I am also being treated, if only as a means to gaining the space needed to properly deal with my fiance situation, but which has itself introduced more complexities into my life, notably in my relationship with the fifth woman in my current fiance situation, the one that I become."

His mother nodded. "Ranko. You used that to hide yourself from me rather than face me directly. In spite of that, I must admit that I like Ranko, as she is very close to the daughter that I had wished for; and as you are the son that any mother could be proud of. Yes, you have problems and issues, but you are working towards a solution that anyone would say was honourable and which takes into account the feelings and emotions of those around you who have been involved in them. I will not add to them."

With that, she placed the seppuku agreement on the table and slid it across to Ranma. "The agreement is yours for you to decide if it should remain in effect or should be torn and burned. I'd recommend that we maintain the fiction that I still have it in my possession and use that as a means of keeping your father in line, at least keeping him from the worst excesses that he is capable of. Having him focused on training you and 'uniting the schools' on top of his new position with the City should keep him from getting into more trouble."

"Also," she continued as she pulled out the tanto knife from her kimono and placed it in front of her and slid it across to Ranma. "This and the family honour katana are yours, for you to use as you deem necessary. I cannot, in all honour, keep such items in my possession as there is still the temptation to use them for my own reasons. Guard them well and use them wisely, my son."

Sliding back from the table, she did full bow. "I have changed the family koseki to have you as the primary person responsible for any changes and additions. I have also added Ranko as a legitimate child of both Genma and myself, using the same information as for you. That will solve any legal problems for you on that basis. Don't worry about Genma trying to change records. He has been recorded as ineligible to make changes to the Koseki. I have also informed my family and clan of the change in your status as well as the existence of Ranko, and you have been entered into their koseki. If nothing else, you can now call on my family and clan for assistance if you need to do so without loss of honor."

"Finally, I have one item that came in the mail today and which I had to sign for. It was addressed to Ranko. I did not open it but the sender is a legitimate law firm and I checked with them and they did send you this letter."

With that, she reached into her kimono and pulled out a largish envelope and slid it across the table to Ranma, who picked it up and looked at it.

Kasumi gasped. "Akane also got one of those today but Nodoka arrived just after the mail was delivered and I just put it away. Give me a moment."

With that she disappeared into the front hallway and returned immediately, placing an identical envelope beside Akane. Akane looked at Ranma and said, "you open yours, then I'll open mine. I have no idea what this is about but it's too coincidental to be different matters."

Ranma looked around for something to open the envelope with, then picked up the tanto and cocked an eyebrow at his mother. "Gomenesai," he said.

Nodoka giggled and covered her mouth with her hand. "That's probably the only bit of useful honest work that it's been put to in decades. Just be careful as it's fearfully sharp; I polished it every day."

Ranma placed the letter down on the table flap up, and then gently inserted the tanto behind it and then slowly cut through the closure. He then put the knife in the middle of the table and then pulled the contents out and spread them across the table in front of him. Everyone stood up and moved around to get a better view.

Ranma focused on the covering letter and read it aloud.

"_Good day, Miss Saotome._

_Our apologies for the sudden arrival of this letter and the surprises that it contains._

_One of our clients, the Academy City Publishers, is about to start its next series of 'Young Ladies of Japan' and is this year inviting a number of young ladies from Minato and Nerima to attend its Talent Development School. _

_As part of this offer, it will also include coverage of tuition in the Talent Development School as well as all associated expenses, tuition to a suitable school within Academy City and all associated expenses, living accommodation and all associated expenses, a living allowance to cover your day-to-day expenses as well as covering all moving and travel expenses incurred during the academic year. This also includes provisions for travel between Academy City and your home at least once per month as well as the start and end of school breaks. Finally, all official events with the Talent Development Schools such as shows, photo shoots and appearances will be paid at a minimum rate comparable to that used for models and actors performing similar functions elsewhere._

_Representative__s__ of Academy City Publishers as well as this law firm will be contacting you shortly to further present this offer. Please feel free to contact your own legal advis__or__ and have them attend any meetings. Also, we are providing you with a list of contacts for the other candidates. Please feel free to engage them and discuss this offer amongst yourselves._

_Accommodations can be made in our offer to suit personal needs and requirements. Be advised that these accommodations will, in turn, be offered to all other candidates to ensure an equitable and fair agreement with all of the candidates._

_Your final acceptance of this offer will be required in writing two weeks prior to the start of the next academic year, or March 15__th__, whichever occurs first._

_Please do not hesitate to contact the under-signed if you have any questions about the offer or Academy City. Our purpose is not only to act as the law firm for Academy City Publishers, but to also act as your advocates if you so choose. If requested, we will provide you with a list of unrelated law firms that are familiar with the Talent Development School and its programs and can provide you with the necessary legal advise at no added expense to you or your family._

_Respectfully,…."_

Akane pulled up a second piece of paper, and said "this must be the contact list. Lessee, here's the Nerima people: Ranko, Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo, Kodachi, and Biki and not Kasumi?"

Ranma pulled down the list and thought about it. "Maybe they have an age restriction... Oh, here's a sheet on the Talent Development School program... Ages eighteen to twenty years of age. However, we can always ask them about this and why only six are chosen and why us six specifically. I mean, Kasumi really deserves something like this. She's been busting her gut managing the house and all..."

Kasumi blushed and flapped her hand at Ranma in a go-away gesture. "Oh no, I'm too old for that. I'm twenty-one and they restrict the ages to eighteen to twenty."

"Nonsense!" went Akane as well as Ranma and Nadoka.

"What's nonsense?" came Nibiki's voice from the room's entrance. "I just get here in time to hear something about Kasumi being too old and all of you going 'nonsense'. Oh, hello, Auntie Nodoka."

The next several minute were spent showing Nibiki Ranma's package, comparing it to Akane's, and her examining the documents.

"Looks to be a valid presentation and offer. Everything is consistent with the letter, and I've heard of the Talent Development School. They've been producing some of the top models and idols over the last five years by focusing on the best-of-the-best from a couple of cities each year and building on the skills and talents discovered in previous years. Of course, the obvious question is why Nerima and why just us out of all of the martial artists in Nerima. Could it be because we are high school student? Is there going to be accommodation for us all to live together or are we going to be spread out all over? Is there a training dojo handy that everyone can train at and which has masters that we can learn from? What about Ranma and Shampoo and their curses? And... And... Oh crap! This is going to take a lot of serious thinking. Has anyone been writing down everything?"

Kasumi waved a pencil and her shopping list pad, then made a couple more notes, then looked at her watch.

"It's really too late to get started on making dinner. Can someone call Father or Uncle Genma and tell him to bring a take-away dinner for everyone, better make it the Banquet for Twenty, from the Cat Cafe? Also, can whoever is making the calls invite Shampoo, Ukyo and probably Konatsu as well?"

Akane jumped and ran for the phone in the hallway before she could call out "Got it! Banquet for Thirty if they're coming!"


	12. Chapter 12

Notes:

All anime/manga characters are copyright the relevant owners.

OCs are my own invention, though they may be influenced by OCs from other series. The only exceptions are the four OCs that I borrowed from Skystrider's Ranma series, simply because I admire their take-no-crap to dealing with liars and cheats.

Strictly intended for the amusement of the reader and is not for distribution on any other media or medium.

Personal note: the muse has been not only priming me but over-pressuring the fuel tank. In two days, I've ground out two chapters. Probably time to shift to working some more on the Railgun series, then coming back to (at long last) adding the Academy City/Railgun portion of the crossover. BTW, Kamijou Misuzu is the daughter of Touma and the Railgun.

_**-oooo-oooo-oooo-oooo**_

_**Lunch with the Girls and One Aquagendered Male**_

As Ranko, Akane, Nibiki, Ukyo, and Kodachi exited the classroom, they spotted the police, Judge Sanu and Kuno-sama standing off to the side of the hallway, having a deep conversation. When Sargent Imia spotted them, they stopped as he drew everyone else's attention to their presence. Heads were shaken and the Sargent waved them away, then gave them the my-eyes-are-on-you gesture. Everyone waved and started down towards the cafeteria, then stopped as Ukyo begged off as she had to run her okonomiyaki stand.

Ranko said quickly, "why don't we meet under the old cherry tree, good shade and we can spell Ukyo if she needs helps passing out her lunches?"

The other nodded. Then Ukyo dope-slapped Ranko. "You just want to get some free lunches, don't you? Speaking of free lunches, Akane gets one in celebration for hopefully finally defeating the Hentai Horde. BUT... the rest of you are going to pay full fare."

"Waaah!" went Kodachi.

"Simple, Kodachi, you just ramped up everything by not only snogging Ranko, but also doing everything but a naked lap dance. Remember the rules: do one, do all. And speaking of Ranko, she was checking out your tonsils as well. Nibiki's also paying because, while she was helping you two defeat Kuno-kun, she's been enjoying playing around with that Concealed Weapon of hers way too much to make it looks like she wasn't enjoying having... what did we hear you three saying... extra equipment."

Akane chimed in. "Speaking of which, Nibiki, I'm starting to think that Ukyo's on to something. You've been tossing around funtari way too much for it to be a passing item, plus you didn't ditch it when you had a chance. I'm willing to bet that you were using it to get everyone to pay up on their debts or bets or whatever reason they had for owing you money. Maybe you should be buying lunch for everyone today in addition to yourself."

Nibiki pulled a large wad of cash out of her skirt pocket and passed it over to Ukyo. "Akane's right, well, at least on collecting money. Take what you need for everyone to have lunch, plus yourself and Shampoo when she gets here, which should be right after you get set up. I'm willing to bet that she's got the tree bugged to detect when Ranma-baby's within ten feet of it."

Ukyo flipped through the wad, extracting a number of bills and tucking them away. "House specials for everyone! And, no, Shampoo doesn't have the tree bugged as I keep checking it on a regular basis. I'd be willing to bet (and no, this is not an invitation to run a bet with you, Nibiki!) that she's got a sniper nest set up somewhere close by. Of course, with us standing around and talking, she's got lots of time to spot us, plan accordingly and to peddle her ass to get over here and smack..."

"Airen! Darling!" came the broken Japanese of a certain purple-haired girl as her rear bicycle wheel smashed into Ranko's face, knocking her to the ground.

"Ranma in the head, right on time," finished Ukyo as she handed Nibiki the remainder of the wad and then did a one-handed catch of Shampoo's ramen container before it could upset and hit the ground. Putting the ramen container on the ground, she turned and quickly set up the okonomiyaki cooker and started the burners, then pulling her supplies from her chi-pocket as the lineup of customers started forming.

Everyone else retired towards the cherry tree and spread out to claim space. Shampoo leaned her bike against the tree, pulled a blanket from the basket and spread it with a snap, then walked over to pick up the ramen container with a smile for Ukyo and a cheeky remark "Don't need a sniper's nest, just wait for the arguments to start and I hear all of you bickering back and forth. Nyah!" and flipping Ukyo a stinky-eye as she started to turn.

"Nyah, yourself. For that, no sauce for you!" went Ukyo as she started pouring, stirring and flipping.

"And roach ramen for you!" came the glib response.

Within minutes, Ukyo had served her lineup and turned off her portable grill. She stepped back and pulled out a stack of plates from her chi-pocket and flipped the remaining still-hot okonomiyaki unto them, then squirted sauce over them, walked over to where everyone else was seated, then distributed the plates and sat down.

"Inutakimas!" went everyone as they then dug into their lunches as well as the ramen and okonomiyaki .

Ranko finally slowed down, leaned back on her elbows and gently belched then blushed at the baleful regards she got from everyone else. "Gomeneasi," she quietly said as everyone shook their heads.

Shampoo nudged Ranko's foot. "OK, lunch over. Now tell Shampoo why police are crawling all over Furinkan and why everyone is talking about Concealed Weapons and looking in your direction. Did you do something too too bad and got yourself into The Book again?"

Ranko, Akane and Nibiki blushed and twiddled their fingers as Ukyo, Kodachi and Shampoo watched.

Ukyo finally gave in. "It's something that they used to put Kuno-kun into the nurse's office in a catatonic state. I saw something going on with this morning's Hentai Horde but didn't get a good view of whatever it was until Akane and Ranko arrived just as the bells stopped ringing and then Miss Hinaki hit them with her Happo technique and she got stuck with IT." Ukyo blushed right to her hairline. "Miss Hinako fainted and she... she... had a massive THAT and THOSE up under her skirt."

Shampoo gaped and her okonomiyaki plate slid from her lap to the blanket. "Too too too much information! I heard of it and saw one warrior in village who had it but not THAT big! No, no, not mean THAT but meaning that warrior had something similar but more a normal size, like this." She quickly sketched the dimensions in the air.

The others snickered and started laughing, while Shampoo pouted and finally produced her chuis from weapon-space. "Not not funny! Xiam Pu get all tied up when trying to say it without sounding like total idiot and you laugh at her!"

Nibiki got her snickers under control. "No, no, Shampoo. We're not laughing at you but at what you were saying. Every one of us runs smack into the same wall when we try to talk about the Ninja Deception Hidden Weapon technique. Mine was 50 by 15 centimeters, so I can just imagine what monster Miss Hinako got gifted with, what say 75 by 30? How'd you like to have someone threaten you with that or suddenly find that you have one?"

Shampoo slowly put the weapons away as she considered Nibiki's words.

Nibiki launched into a detailed description of the whole event, right from inception to completion.

Shampoo then broke the silence. "You mean, that you three would have had wild sex with Kuno out in the sun with the Horde standing around admiring and admiring the clouds passing by, but then told Kuno that it was going to be his poop-chute that was going to get all the exercise?"

The three conspirators nodded, trying to hide smirks behind serious expressions. Kodachi sat gob-smacked.

Shampoo quietly asked the dreaded and anticipated question, "just how big were your... uh... extra equipment?"

Nibiki snickered and then tried to swallow and give a serious answer. "According to what Sargent Imia said, 50 by 15, but I think that he was exaggerating for effect. It was, maybe my forearm by my wrist, say 25 by 5."

Shampoo thought about it and looked at Ranko. "Say, shorty, just how big are you and how much pleasure can you give me?"

Ranko's reaction was not what Shampoo expected. She blushed and looked down, twiddled her fingers and blushed even further, then opened her mouth to speak and then shut it again. She shook her head.

The others, even Kodachi, stared at Ranko's performance. Nibiki started to quip something when Ranko pushed her forefinger unto Nibiki's lips to silence her. Taking a deep breath, Ranko blushed again and started. "I - I - I was just thinking about how that would have felt up mine... you know... up mine, down there. Like what Kasume, and Nibiki, and Akane ... and me... were talking about the other night."

Akane stepped in the silence and said, "We had a big chat with Ranma the other night about something that happened two weeks ago. This morning, we asked Dad about the same thing which later gave Ranma and Nibiki the idea of how to defeat Kuno. Dad said that we should talk to all of you and not do anything more until we had your agreement. I think that we reached that point. Can all three of you come around the Dojo about 10 o'clock tonight? Bring a change of school clothes because we may be talking for a long time and it would be easier if you slept over."

Ranko nodded and looked at the other fiances. "Please come over, it's important."


	13. Chapter 13

Author's notes…. Apologies to the canon-followers. You're right. There is no way that this story could have taken place six months after the start of the Hentai Horde. Let's let that the errors in the previous chapter slide (six months after the start of the Hentai Horde). In reality, we're probably talking at least a year, and possible two since Ranma's arrival, and definitely after the failed wedding incident from the manga.

As always, the original copyright holders retain their rights, and this is intended for the non-commercial enjoyment of the readers. Comments and reviews are always welcome, as long as they bear in mind that I am not a perfect typist, do not always get timelines right, muddle items from manga and anime without regard for canon, and have other personal quirks like my low sense of humour. I plan on staying on the ecchi side of things, but these last few entries ar definitely mature in outlook.

Speaking of ecchi, I ground out the basics of this chapter (90%) of the content in less than an hour over lunch. Remember what I said in the last chapter about my muse over-pressurizing my fuel tank...case proven.

_**\- First Slumber Party, And No Party-poopers Allowed -**_

Kasumi was placing the snacks and beverages tray down in the corner of the Dojo, then glanced at the pile of futons and pillows.

"Akane, are you sure that we have enough?"

"Yes, Kasumi, we've got enough to feed an army, let alone the eight of us. I've also made sure that the remaining men-folk have theirs and they took oaths not to peek or try listening in. That embarrassing?"

"Some of it is, and then Ranko's going ballistic from worrying herself silly. You'd think that she was having her mother drop by."

Kasumi smiled. "Maybe, she's trying to finally adjust to her condition and over-reacting just a bit."

Akane smiled back. "Yes just a bit. We're just getting to see all of her first-times in one week, that's all."

Kasumi left, aiming for her kitchen and to make sure that the men-folk were so well-fed that they were not even capable of being tempted to think about wandering out to the dojo.

Akane rearranged the futons and the pillows once again, moving them from being spread out to two large piles facing each other back to being spread out. "Even I'm doing it now!", she wailed quietly as she piled the futons and launched herself on top of the pile.

"Looks like someone's having too too much fun," came the lilting tones of the purple-haired ramen delivery girl from the doorway. Kicking off her shoes, and finding a pair of slippers to fit, she picked up the containers beside her and stepped into the Dojo, bowing toward the family shrine before crossing over to where the snacks were and unloading the container. "Great-grandmother insisted that I bring something along. Don't worry, I told her about lunchtime and she said that this is very important for Airen and to not be the air-headed husband hunter. Not sure what she talking about, Xian Pu never air-headed."

Before Akane could think of a comeback to that statement, the doors slid open again, admitting Ukyo and Kodachi as well as their ninja servants, all bearing loads of treats and drinks. Repeating their bows to the shrine, they also off loaded and the ninjas departed to take up guard duty on the roof of the Dojo.

Ukyo nudged Shampoo and quipped, "No one who knows you can ever say that you're air-headed, Shampoo, but I agree with Cologne. Tonight's too important to Ranma to not behave ourselves. Having said that, nothing's been said about not having fun. Hey, Akane! That pile of futons as comfortable as it looks?"

Without giving a hint, Ukyo whipped out her combat spatula, scooped Shampoo up and tossed her up unto the pile and face-to-face on top of Akane. She then followed by leaping unto the pile as well. Kodachi looked at the tangled pile of futons and girls, and sniffed in disdain.

"Big mistake, psycho girl!" squawked Shampoo as she levered Akane and Ukyo off of her and launched herself at Kodachi, swinging a pillow. "Die the death of ten thousand feathers!"

Kodachi dropped into a crouch under Shampoo's swing and did a leg sweep to both make Shampoo jump and to snag a loose pillow lying at the foot of the futon pile.

"Die the never-ending death of polyster foam, you hussy!" came the screeched retort, and the fight was on.

Akane and Ukyo slid to the bottom of the pile and watched as the two traded insults, exaggerated martial arts claims and pillow swats while moving all over the floor, walls and ceiling of the Dojo, avoiding the area in the corner with the tables of treats and the futons.

Within a couple minutes, the two protagonists wound down and flopped down on either side of the other two, drawing deep breaths and smirking at the others.

Shampoo finally got her breath back enough and chuckled, "Airen right! Open mouth to insult enemy and loose battle when you run out of air."

Kodachi gently tossed her pillow unto Shampoo's face. "Darling Ramna! He's so advanced that he can do both, move body and mouth at the same time. Do you think that we can take him when he arrives?"

"Too late for the surprise factor," came Nibiki's voice from the door as she stepped in and Ranko and Misuzu followed her. "Though I must say. Six months ago, the dojo would have been wrecked and there would have been bodies and blood everywhere. Of course, I wouldn't have had the pleasure of billing you all for the damages and repairs, plus a little bit on the side for myself…." Whatever else she was about to say disappeared behind a barrage of pillows, all aimed for her face.

Misuzu looked at Ranko. "They like this all the time now?"

"Mostly. Every once in a while they go all out and show that they're not out of shape. Usually some dojo breaker or wanna-be martial artist looking to make a name for themselves. Toss in the occasional rapist or criminal activity, but generally, pretty quiet." Ranko smirked as she scooped up four pillows from Nibiki and tossed them back at the girls, who caught them and smirked back and gave him the stinky-eye simultaneously.

\- Ten minutes go by while Kasumi comes back and everyone gets settled and have drinks and snacks. -

Misuzu started the ball rolling. "OK, I got a call from Ranko today and it looks like a lot has happened since our last session. Guess that's what you get when you go away for a conference and trust you lot to actually have everything under control." Pillows flew for her but Misuzu dropped, rolled and stood up out of the line of fire, then resumed her seat, giving the stinky-eye to everyone.

She resumed. "Why don't we go back two weeks and start from there? That is, unless something happened before then that bears on today's events? Kasumi, Nibiki, before we get started, I have to tell you of the basic rules: everything said and heard today is totally private; nothing gets repeated without everyone else's permission. Also, if you're going to point a finger at someone and make an accusation, you'd better point the finger at yourself and say why the other person affects you when they do whatever they are doing. Any problems with those rules, shaking your heads mean no, you have no issues."

Kasumi and Nibiki both shook their heads and said "No, I have no issues with those rules." And smiled at everyone else.

Misuzu continue, "Fine. Who wants to lead off, and it better not be Ranko or we'll be here for weeks."

\- Two hours goes by, with conversation, snacking, drinks, plus washroom breaks. -

"OK, you've all been talking about the Ninja Deception Concealed Weapon technique, and getting all embarrassed about talking about it. What exactly does it look like?", Misuzu leaned forward to place her tea cup in front of her.

Ranko rubbed the back of her head and laughed faintly. Akane looked at him sharply.

"Oh, don't tell me, you didn't get rid of them when you took them off of Miss Hinako and deactivated them, didn't you?"

Ranko hand-clapped and bowed towards her. "Gomenesai. Makoto ni moushiwake gozaimasen deshita." (1)

"Waah! What were you thinking of doing with that…. " Akane wound down as the thought occurred to her what Ranko might want to do with it. By reflex action, her mallet appeared out of weapon-space and dropped into her hand. Looking at the mallet, she thought about what she really wanted to do while Ranko quailed.

Putting the mallet back in weapon-space, she looked at Ranko. "OK, that's just plain nasty. If you're thinking about THIS AND THAT, you'd better talk to Nibiki and Kasumi about using the business card that Dad gave us and get something proper rather than going off half-cocked… Oh, crap! Now, I've got a mind-worm and every sentence is going to be about THIS AND THAT and THOSE. Waah!"

Misuzu smiled as she watched the by-play and the quizzical expressions of Ranko's other fiances. She quietly interjected, "Ranko, you might as well show us what this is all about, neh?"

Ranko nodded and reached into his own chi pocket and pulled out the one that he'd been wearing, and placed it in front of himself where everyone could see it. "This one's mine," she said just in case anyone might ask, based upon Akane's reaction to the fact of their existence.

Ukyo, Shampoo and Kodachi leaned forward to get a good view, and then looked up at Ranma. Shampoo beat everyone else to the punch with "And that's the big secret? Look like a couple of knee-socks filled with.." and she poked it and shuddered… "kitty-litter from the feel."

Ranko sighed. "Let me turn it on and you'll see the difference." She reached out and tapped the socks and muttered a few words, deliberately soft and slurred to prevent anyone from hearing what he was saying. The socks twitched and took on a different appearance, swelling in size and texture.

Kodachi leaned forward. "Oh my. I really wasn't paying close attention when Nibiki brought out hers. Too busy giving Ranko fan service, I guess. Nibiki's was larger, by about a third if her description was accurate. Not that I'm saying you were exaggerating, Nibiki, but…. Oh crap, Akane, I've now got your mind-worm. Just shoot me before I start talking like my brother or worse, because I'm jealous! Oh, double-crap! I didn't mean to say that but I'm not sorry that I did. Something like that would make one heck of a toy if you could figure out how to mass-manufacture it and have it staying sanitary… oh, triple-crap! Just forget what I just said, the whole thing!" She blushed and looked away, at anything but what was wriggling on the floor in front of Ranko.

Shampoo reached out and picked it up and watched as it reacted to her touch, then put it back down. "Very good technique, Ranko. Anything that can turn Kodachi into a blushing virgin …." Whatever she was going to say was swallowed by the impact of a small pillow with her lower face. Shampoo pulled the pillow down and smirked at Kodachi. "Case proven, psycho girl," she quipped as she put the pillow down beside her. "Ukyo, you want to have a try?"

Ukyo twitched and shook her head. "Wouldn't mind trying it for real," she muttered to herself, and then realized that she'd spoken it aloud. Waving her hands back and forth, she scrambled for a coherent thought and then gave up and sighed. "OK, this has got me going all weird. Just had a flash of what such a weapon would do to me, and what it would feel like to use such a thing on someone else." Glancing at Ranko, she whispered "Probably a bit like what you're thinking and feeling right now, right?"

Ranko nodded. "Yeah. That's what's got me all worked up and twisting in the wind. I totally like girls and have no intention of doing THIS and THAT with a guy, but here I sit and wonder what it would feel like if I was a girl."

Nibiki put a finger into the air. "Shampoo mentioned something earlier, about one of her fellow Amazons having 'extra equipment'. Shampoo, was that person born that way or did they pick up a Jusenkyo curse at some point?"

Shampoo replied, "curse," and then stopped and thought for a moment. "You aren't thinking that Great-grandmother might have some instant …..?"

Nibiki smiled, trying hard not to make it look like a smirk. "Well, it certainly would fit within Ranko's general requirements ….. "

Ranko squawked. "No! No! Absolutely Not! That's totally gay!"

Nibiki now smirked. "Please explain the logic behind that, Ranko. We'd have one willie and two? vaginas when you're Ranko; and one willie and one vagina when you're Ranma. Only difference is that one of the vaginas in both situations got splashed with instant Jusenkyo curse. You afraid that you'd like IT that way so much that you'd stay Ranko all the time? I have the feeling that there are at least four people here today who'd beg to differ, considering how hard they've been trying to get into your pants over the years and have seen your reaction to them. OR is this your Dad speaking? Remember that Japan no longer has laws that forbid what takes place between two consenting people beyond the age of consent and we're all past that point."

Ranko hung her head, and Nibiki walked over and hugged her. "OK, I know that I'm pushing, but we have to be sure of what you want before we can proceed. But I think the consensus around here is that the use of the Ninja Deception Concealed Weapon technique as it currently is will be out of the equation. Which leaves us with vibrators or the instant curse for the time being."

Shampoo raised her hand, looking like a schoolgirl trying to get the teacher's attention. "Xian Pu have suggestion. Let me talk to Great Grandmother and see if she does have the instant curse or has to order it, and if there are any problems using it on people with a permanent curse. I must say that I'm curious. While I'd like my first time to be with Ranma, I admit that curious about how Ranko would be like, either yori or using the curse."

The others blushed and nodded, muttering "me, too!" then realized that they'd spoken aloud and blushed even deeper.

_**\- Next morning, and you thought that I'd go totally hentai with the slumber party. Nyaa – and stinky-eye to you! -**_

Ranma dragged himself out of the furo and dried off. Standing in front of the mirror, he pulled on his yakuta and combed his hair into a presentable form then tied up his pigtail with the remnants of the dragon's whisker. Nodding to himself, he gathered his clothes and stepped out into the hallway and headed for the dining room.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him. He looked back, weighing his options as to where he could sit that would cause the least discord. Kasumi patted the open space beside her and Ranma dropped into it, smiling at everyone else. With the exception of Nibiki and Miss Misuzu, no one looked particular happy at this turn of events.

"Arigato, Kasumi," he spoke quietly and reached for his chopsticks. "Inatakimas!" he intoned and everyone followed suit.

Breakfast started but everyone was quieter than what would be normally expected.

Misuzu decided to break the log-jam and asked, "what is everyone's plans for today? I know that you have school this morning, and Ukyo and Shampoo have their jobs at noon, but what about this afternoon? Didn't Nibiki have something about a business card that needed being used?"

The Tendo sisters and Ranma went red and looked down, and the other fiances looked over. Ukyo got in first, "oh yes, the card that Tendo-san had given you for that new store. Is it something that everyone else would be interested in and is everyone else invited?"

Nibiki nodded. "It's currently open by invitation only and groups over four need a reservation."

The other fiances and Misuzu leaned forward. Ukyo took the lead on this one again, "and just what are they selling? Dresses, jewelry, shoes, undergarments?"

Nibiki decided that a sharp, quick death was preferable to the death of a thousand questions. "It's adult toys, clothing and accessories for women. We'd been yanking Father's and Uncle Genma's chains about 'female stress relief' for Ranko and getting instant curse packages from Cologne, when Dad pulls out the card and zings us with it. Question is, does everyone want to go if I can get an appointment for this afternoon? AND NO, RANMA, YOU DON'T GET A VOTE ON THIS AS YOU'RE GOING NO MATTER WHAT!"

Ranma pouted as everyone's hands went up with alacrity.

Author's note: (1) the phrase "Makoto ni moushiwake gozaimasen deshita." Comes from a webpage on the various levels of apology used in Japan ( ). The description for this one caught my eye and comes closest to Ranma admitting that he'd hung unto the knee-sock for less than honourable purposes. According to the website, the description of the level of apology being performed is as follows: "This phrase is mostly used by dishonoured samurai and ninja. Use this when you've fallen in love with the shogun's daughter."


	14. Chapter 14

Author's notes…. As always, the original copyright holders retain their rights, and this is intended for the non-commercial enjoyment of the readers. Comments and reviews are always welcome, as long as they bear in mind that I am not a perfect typist, do not always get timelines right, muddle items from manga and anime without regard for canon, and have other personal quirks like my low sense of humour. I plan on staying on the ecchi side of things, but these last few chapters are definitely mature in outlook.

_**\- Who used the last of the batteries? -**_

Ranma and Akane were returning form the local ginza with the groceries for dinner, and came in through the main doors and started to take their shoes off when Ranma noticed the tall thin bundle sitting in the umbrella stand. He started to shake and shudder, which got Akane's attention, and she spotted the bundle.

"Kasumi, we're back!" she called out as if nothing had happened.

"Oh, thanks for picking up the groceries. Can you put them into the kitchen and join me in the dining room. We're having some tea."

The two fiances, dreading who was in the dining room with Kasumi, walked into the kitchen and put the groceries on the counter and put away those that needed to go into the fridge, then looked at each other and then nodded, walked out and into the dining room.

"Good afternoon, Auntie Nodoka," said Akane plastering a false smile on her face.

Ranma copied the expression and went "hello, Mother."

What surprised them was the expression on Nodoka's face, actually looking happy to see them and not about to spout out about family honour, honourable activities and Ranma being 'a man amongst men'."

"Ah, it has been a while, but I finally managed to get over to see you two. Please. Sit down and let me pour you some tea and you can have some of the cakes that I brought along. Kasumi says that they won't spoil your dinner if you have just one."

By the time that they'd recovered from their shock, there was tea and a plate laden with a piece of cake in front of each of them. They used the time to have a sip of tea and a bit of the cake to recover their presence of mind and to shoot each other a quick glance followed by a small shrug.

"Ah," went Nadoka when she'd been complimented on the tea and cake. "I have a few things that I'd like to say and some others that I need to ask you about."

Another slow look went between the two fiances, saying nothing but expressing "holy carp! Here it comes."

"I had a conversation with Miss Kamijou Misuzu a couple months ago, and some of the things that we discussed were things that were very private and personal to me. She'd asked me to think about them and to consider getting some professional help to understand them. Rather than digging in my heels, I actually took her advice. With my family history of behavior, as well as my relationship with your father, Genma, I have developed what is called Obsessive Compulsive Disease or OCD. I am currently taking medication and counseling to address the issues. I have a long way to go and ask for your understanding and patience while I am on my journey."

Ranma's jaw dropped at hearing the words that he'd always thought about his mother since his return to Japan.

She nodded and bowed deeply. "No, I am not crazy, though the disease makes my behavior irrational and totally at odds with the way that I would be if I did not have OD."

Ranma stood and walked around the table and hugged his mother while she hugged him back. Akane stared at them for a while and then added her hug.

When Nodoka finally subsided and gently pushed the pair away, she smiled at them and waved them back to their original locations.

"I appreciate your gesture, even though I feel that I've done much in the past to be ashamed of. Something that I would like to address now, or at least talk about the core of our 'troubles'", reaching into her kimono and bringing out a faded document.

"Yes, the original copy of the seppuku agreement," she added even though everyone had identified it as such.

Looking across the table at her son, she said, "are you a man amongst men, and are you honorable?"

Ranko looked down in thought, then straightened up. "The document says that, but what is meant by a 'man amongst men'? What is honourable? Does it mean that I keep strictly to the definitions of the Anything Goes schools of Indiscriminate Grappling? Am I a younger copy of Genma, Soun, or Happosai; all of whom are flawed and behave in accordance with their own wishes rather than what other martial artists or the world at large would define as honourable? The document calls for me to become so, but does not state what the definition of those terms is and what is the requirement for me to successfully to meet those definitions. I mean, I believe that I am honourable in that I treat everyone that I encounter fairly or as they deserve based on how they treat others and willingly come to the aid or those weaker than me or who I call my friend, but I know that there have been times when I have not taken responsibility for my actions or my actions' effects on others. After all, I have multiple fiances and I have, until recently, not taken any action to deal with them fairly or equitably. I also have a Jusenkyo curse that I have used shamelessly to obtain what I want from others without regard for it being right or proper to do so, and which may well eliminate me from the 'man amongst men' category in its entirely. About the only thing that I can say that I have met of the requirements is having a mouth that will not turn away from a challenge or slight and an ego that matches it."

"Since you've met Miss Misuzu, you know that I am also being treated, if only as a means to gaining the space needed to properly deal with my fiance situation, but which has itself introduced more complexities into my life, notably in my relationship with the fifth woman in my current fiance situation, the one that I become."

His mother nodded. "Ranko. You used that to hide yourself from me rather than face me directly. In spite of that, I must admit that I like Ranko, as she is very close to the daughter that I had wished for; and as you are the son that any mother could be proud of. Yes, you have problems and issues, but you are working towards a solution that anyone would say was honourable and which takes into account the feelings and emotions of those around you who have been involved in them. I will not add to them."

With that, she placed the seppuku agreement on the table and slid it across to Ranma. "The agreement is yours for you to decide if it should remain in effect or should be torn and burned. I'd recommend that we maintain the fiction that I still have it in my possession and use that as a means of keeping your father in line, at least keeping him from the worst excesses that he is capable of. Having him focused on training you and 'uniting the schools' on top of his new position with the City should keep him from getting into more trouble."

"Also," she continued as she pulled out the tanto knife from her kimono and placed it in front of her and slid it across to Ranma. "This and the family honour katana are yours, for you to use as you deem necessary. I cannot, in all honour, keep such items in my possession as there is still the temptation to use them for my own reasons. Guard them well and use them wisely, my son."

Sliding back from the table, she did full bow. "I have changed the family koseki to have you as the primary person responsible for any changes and additions. I have also added Ranko as a legitimate child of both Genma and myself, using the same information as for you. That will solve any legal problems for you on that basis. Don't worry about Genma trying to change records. He has been recorded as ineligible to make changes to the Koseki. I have also informed my family and clan of the change in your status as well as the existence of Ranko, and you have been entered into their koseki. If nothing else, you can now call on my family and clan for assistance if you need to do so without loss of honor."

"Finally, I have one item that came in the mail today and which I had to sign for. It was addressed to Ranko. I did not open it but the sender is a legitimate law firm and I checked with them and they did send you this letter."

With that, she reached into her kimono and pulled out a largish envelope and slid it across the table to Ranma, who picked it up and looked at it.

Kasumi gasped. "Akane also got one of those today but Nodoka arrived just after the mail was delivered and I just put it away. Give me a moment."

With that she disappeared into the front hallway and returned immediately, placing an identical envelope beside Akane. Akane looked at Ranma and said, "you open yours, then I'll open mine. I have no idea what this is about but it's too coincidental to be different matters."

Ranma looked around for something to open the envelope with, then picked up the tanto and cocked an eyebrow at his mother. "Gomenesai," he said.

Nodoka giggled and covered her mouth with her hand. "That's probably the only bit of useful honest work that it's been put to in decades. Just be careful as it's fearfully sharp; I polished it every day."

Ranma placed the letter down on the table flap up, and then gently inserted the tanto behind it and then slowly cut through the closure. He then put the knife in the middle of the table and then pulled the contents out and spread them across the table in front of him. Everyone stood up and moved around to get a better view.

Ranma focused on the covering letter and read it aloud.

"_Good day, Miss Saotome._

_Our apologies for the sudden arrival of this letter and the surprises that it contains._

_One of our clients, the Academy City Publishers, is about to start its next series of 'Young Ladies of Japan' and is this year inviting a number of young ladies from Minato and Nerima to attend its Talent Development School. _

_As part of this offer, it will also include coverage of tuition in the Talent Development School as well as all associated expenses, tuition to a suitable school within Academy City and all associated expenses, living accommodation and all associated expenses, a living allowance to cover your day-to-day expenses as well as covering all moving and travel expenses incurred during the academic year. This also includes provisions for travel between Academy City and your home at least once per month as well as the start and end of school breaks. Finally, all official events with the Talent Development Schools such as shows, photo shoots and appearances will be paid at a minimum rate comparable to that used for models and actors performing similar functions elsewhere._

_Representative__s__ of Academy City Publishers as well as this law firm will be contacting you shortly to further present this offer. Please feel free to contact your own legal advis__or__ and have them attend any meetings. Also, we are providing you with a list of contacts for the other candidates. Please feel free to engage them and discuss this offer amongst yourselves._

_Accommodations can be made in our offer to suit personal needs and requirements. Be advised that these accommodations will, in turn, be offered to all other candidates to ensure an equitable and fair agreement with all of the candidates._

_Your final acceptance of this offer will be required in writing two weeks prior to the start of the next academic year, or March 15__th__, whichever occurs first._

_Please do not hesitate to contact the under-signed if you have any questions about the offer or Academy City. Our purpose is not only to act as the law firm for Academy City Publishers, but to also act as your advocates if you so choose. If requested, we will provide you with a list of unrelated law firms that are familiar with the Talent Development School and its programs and can provide you with the necessary legal advise at no added expense to you or your family._

_Respectfully,…."_

Akane pulled up a second piece of paper, and said "this must be the contact list. Lessee, here's the Nerima people: Ranko, Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo, Kodachi, and Biki and not Kasumi?"

Ranma pulled down the list and thought about it. "Maybe they have an age restriction... Oh, here's a sheet on the Talent Development School program... Ages eighteen to twenty years of age. However, we can always ask them about this and why only six are chosen and why us six specifically. I mean, Kasumi really deserves something like this. She's been busting her gut managing the house and all..."

Kasumi blushed and flapped her hand at Ranma in a go-away gesture. "Oh no, I'm too old for that. I'm twenty-one and they restrict the ages to eighteen to twenty."

"Nonsense!" went Akane as well as Ranma and Nadoka.

"What's nonsense?" came Nibiki's voice from the room's entrance. "I just get here in time to hear something about Kasumi being too old and all of you going 'nonsense'. Oh, hello, Auntie Nodoka."

The next several minute were spent showing Nibiki Ranma's package, comparing it to Akane's, and her examining the documents.

"Looks to be a valid presentation and offer. Everything is consistent with the letter, and I've heard of the Talent Development School. They've been producing some of the top models and idols over the last five years by focusing on the best-of-the-best from a couple of cities each year and building on the skills and talents discovered in previous years. Of course, the obvious question is why Nerima and why just us out of all of the martial artists in Nerima. Could it be because we are high school student? Is there going to be accommodation for us all to live together or are we going to be spread out all over? Is there a training dojo handy that everyone can train at and which has masters that we can learn from? What about Ranma and Shampoo and their curses? And... And... Oh crap! This is going to take a lot of serious thinking. Has anyone been writing down everything?"

Kasumi waved a pencil and her shopping list pad, then made a couple more notes, then looked at her watch.

"It's really too late to get started on making dinner. Can someone call Father or Uncle Genma and tell him to bring a take-away dinner for everyone, better make it the Banquet for Twenty, from the Cat Cafe? Also, can whoever is making the calls invite Shampoo, Ukyo and probably Konatsu as well?"

Akane jumped and ran for the phone in the hallway before she could call out "Got it! Banquet for Thirty if they're coming!"


	15. Chapter 15

Author's notes…. As always, the original copyright holders retain their rights, and this is intended for the non-commercial enjoyment of the readers. Comments and reviews are always welcome, as long as they bear in mind that I am not a perfect typist, do not always get timelines right, muddle items from manga and anime without regard for canon, and have other personal quirks like my low sense of humour. I plan on staying on the ecchi side of things, but these last few chapters are definitely mature in outlook.

Just updated my laptop to Windows X (or Ten) and have been having fun with the stuff that gets tossed up as "maybe interesting" items. Did get a website on fan-fiction - here's one article that is a good read (modified the URL to hopefully get past the filters): _USUAL_INTERNET_PREAMBLE_sockii_DOT_hubpages_DOT_com_SLASH_hub_SLASH_is-fan-fiction-wrong NOTE: anything with underscores and in italics are the HTTP format items that you always see in a URL.

Yeah, for those who have read the prevfious chapter, yes, I did forget to put Kodachi on the list of people to ask over. Mea culpa!

_**\- **__**Who is calling you at this hour of the night?**__** -**_

Akane's phone calls put into action a flurry of activity all over Nerima: a massive order came out of the Cat Cafe that required multiple trips by Shampoo and Mouse to deliver on top of their other orders, followed by the Cat Cafe and Okonomiyaki Ucchan's closing early to the disappointment of their patrons, and the departure of a rickshaw from the Kuno mansion and rushing across town to the Tendo Dojo.

Within the dojo proper, the Tendo sisters and Ranma quickly organized tables and cushions to take the massive buffet and to provide seating for the expected guests that would be arriving almost immediately. The fathers and Happosai wandered down to the local liquor store and picked up several large bottles of sake, then trotted back to the household.

Mousse was just finishing his last delivery at the Tendos when Cologne arrived on her stick. He placed the container beside the others on the large table with the others and started heading for the door to return to the Cat Cafe and a lonely night of cleaning and tidying the place when Kasume invited him to stay and have dinner with everyone else.

Cologne was all set to berate him and send him home when Happosai slipped behind her and dope-slapped her. "My dojo, my rules. Let him stay. We have more than enough for everyone and I know how clean your place always is and it could stand not being super-clean for just one night." Cologne shrugged and muttered to Mousse, "You can stay but make sure that the Cafe is spotless first thing tomorrow morning."

Mousse bowed to Cologne, Kasumi and then Happosai, and quietly made his way over to where Konatsu and Sasuke were sitting, both of whom looked slightly uncomfortable at being included in what looked like a private meeting.

Kasumi stood up and signaled everyone to be quiet. Unfortunately, her quiet demeanor worked against her as the overall noise level. She looked at Ranma for assistance and he shrugged, then reached into his weapon-space and pulled out the family honour blade and tossed it to Nodoka. The sound of the blade being pulled from its scabbard had the desired effect as everyone immediately became silent and watched what looked like an very angry matron with a very sharp sword and every intention of using it.

Nodoka sighed and returned the blade to it scabbard, then pulled the covering up over the hilt and returned the blade to Ranma, who promptly made the blade disappear.

Kasumi blithely continued as if nothing had happened. "Thank you all for coming at such short notice. Please, eat up and then we can talk about the packages that have arrived or are about to arrive, and to put together a plan of action on how we look at the offer being made. Initakimas!"

"Initakimas!" everyone responded and queued up to get some of the massive feast spread out for them.


End file.
